Our Family Blog

This actually happened.

2012-01-27T22:08:00.002-06:00

Max: Woah! Look at all that water!
Me: Yeah, that's called a pond.
Max: Pawn
Me: PonD
Max: Pawn...
Me: Pon-DUH
Max: You mean a PANDA?
Me: *dead*

Two-Cup Kind of Day

2012-01-25T11:44:00.000-06:00

Walter had training in Tulsa on Monday and Tuesday, so it was me and the kiddos. For some reason, I get myself worked up and freaked out about these things (being alone) and so I let Max sleep with me. It actually went fine - both kids were pretty easy and low maintenance. Ha - they were saving it up for last night.

Last night was pretty awful. Caroline is hard to put to bed if we wait too long. Well, last night, I didn't get her wrapped up and fed in time, so she would wake up the instant we put her on the mattress over and over. She would cry and fight sleep in the swing or being rocked. We are still having issues with Max holding his #2, which makes him miserable, and thus makes us miserable, because he cries and whines nonstop. He also refused to go to sleep until well after 10. I'm not sure why he was fighting it so hard, but would fall asleep and wake up crying and saying he wasn't tired. Not only that, for some reason he only wanted Mommy, and would tell Daddy to "go away!" which really annoyed me. I certainly wasn't being the nicer of the two parents, so not sure why he only wanted hugs from me. He even pulled me out of bed a few times crying, and I was SO mad because I was sure he was going to wake up the baby.

Max ended up in bed with us because of his crying. I assume his belly was hurting from the not pooping. He just will not listen to us when we explain that he is hurting himself by trying to hold it. I am at my wits end with trying to get him to go. I don't even care if he goes in his pants (well, I kind of do care, because I am SICK. TO. DEATH. of cleaning his underwear/pull ups) but I'm really concerned with the effects of holding it.

Caroline was up once, and in a move that's not common for her, wanted to STAY up. Of course she did. I fed her and let Walter deal with getting her back down, because I was SO over it last night.

Of course this morning, Max was a ball of sunshine. And by that, I mean he was the exact opposite. This morning was definitely one where I was pretty happy to come to work. Also, one where I was pretty happy to see a full pot of coffee.

Maxwell - Age Three

2012-01-24T19:12:00.001-06:00

I found this thing where you ask the same 20 questions to your kids every year on their birthday. It's fun to see how the answers change as they get older. I had forgotton to do it, and was reminded today, so this first one is a few weeks later, but he's still three, and I doubt his answers have changed too much. :)

1. What is your favorite color?
-Yellow (This could change on any given day. Most days he lists 2 or 3 colors at a time.)

2. What is your favorite toy?
-trash truck

3. What is your favorite fruit?
-bananas

4. What is your favorite tv show?
-"black one"; "Mickey Mouse"

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?
-pizza (Most days he wants chicken nuggets, so this one threw me)

6. What is your favorite outfit?
-“this one” (Toy Story shirt)

7. What is your favorite game?
-superheroes

8. What is your favorite snack?
-candy; hamburger candy (Spongebob crabby patty gummies that he got for Christmas. I think M&Ms are pretty high up there, though.)

9. What is your favorite animal?
-cow (I have NO idea why he said this.)

10. What is your favorite song?
-ABC’s

11. What is your favorite book?
-Lego Book

12. Who is your best friend?
-Brandon, Garret, Meredith, and Riley (All from Daycare class)

13. What is your favorite cereal?
-cheerios (We don't buy these, so I am suprised he came up with this. Maybe Daycare...)

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside?
-do a slide

15. What is your favorite drink?
-orange juice, chocolate milk and water and white milk

16. What is your favorite holiday?
-Tuesday (He doesn't know what a holiday is, but I'm going to say Halloween for him. He's still telling us what he wants to dress up as next year.)

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night?
-Eeyore (and the quilt I made him, dog pillow pet, sometimes monkey & teddy bear)

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
-oatmeal

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday?
-On the fire truck; pop tarts (3 year olds are hilarious)

20. What do you want to be when you grow up?
-super hero; Superman

Trying to catch up

2012-01-24T14:33:00.000-06:00

Life is happening so fast that it's hard to keep up. I want to just live it, but it's important to me to write about it too, so that I can have these memories for the kids written down. I definitely cannot trust my own memory. It's the strangest thing - I often feel that nothing is going on worth writing about, but then those are the moments that are the most precious and I hate that I've forgotten so many memories already that I swore I would never forget.

The pretty, pretty princess is ready for church.

We had ice cream, and Caroline was keeping a close eye on Daddy's sundae.

Daddy's artistic (and awkward) shot of Max testing out the new potty target.

Two weekends ago, we had a long weekend because of the Martin Luther King, Jr holiday. We decided to visit Grandma and Grandpa Busch in Tulsa. It was actually a stressful trip - I had hoped that Caroline would be a better traveler than Max was, but those long rides in the carseat (especially when it's dark) are apparently not at all fun. For any of us. We stopped a couple times, and I even ended up in the backseat. She was NOT happy. She finally started sucking her thumb and fell asleep about 5 minues from the house. Of course. And of course I just missed the shot.

It was kind of a laid back weekend. Max took some pictures, some better than others:

We were possibly going to go to the hockey game that Walter's parents were working, but we decided it would be too much for the baby. Good thing we didn't go, because Max ended up with the stomach bug that's been going around Pittsburg, and was up all night throwing up. I was glad I was on baby duty, because it did NOT sound like fun for Walter (or Max). I HATE when my babies are sick. :(

We came home on Sunday afternoon. Monday, we did some shopping, and enjoyed the (unusual) gorgeous January weather with a family walk. Caroline was interested to sit up like a big girl in the stroller. (No, I'm definitely not crying about my baby getting bigger.) for the first half of the trip. The second half she wanted to be carried. Like a BABY likes to be carried. That's better.

Another Busy Weekend

2012-01-20T12:25:00.000-06:00

The first weekend of every month is the Home Depot Workshop. We really enjoy going, Max LOVES to "build something" and I think he's learning a lot. This weekend, two other families from our church small group were there at the same time, so we all built together. It was fun! (Yes, I realize I still need to do a whole post about our church involvement. One of these days...)

Miss Caroline looking pretty stylish.
(Thanks Aunt Gretchen for the adorable onesie.)

Max checking out the instructions for our "Saving's Shed" -
perfect timing since our small group is starting our Dave Ramsey budget!

Caroline wasn't really impressed with the building.

Cooper and Adam

Cameron, Katie, and Davin

Daddy and Max

Max is pretty proud of his shed!

After Home Depot, we headed to Joplin to do a little shopping. Caroline got to try some water from my straw. She loved it- I think the cold on her gums felt good.

Brazos was staying with Grandma and Grandpa, so they all stopped by the house to visit. Love him!

Made with Love

2012-01-20T12:18:00.000-06:00

Great Grandma Kay knitted Caroline this afghan, sweater, booties, and hat, just as she has done with all of her great grandbabies. She has been working on it for awhile, and had a few issues along the way, but I think they all turned out too cute. Poor Caroline, I waited a little too long to do the photos, and her round belly pokes out! I guess she's well-fed. :)

Miscellaneous Pictures

2012-01-20T12:14:00.000-06:00

Every now and then, I like to purge my favorite pictures that don't warrant their own post.

Sweet Caroline looked SO peaceful, sleeping on my chest after church a few weeks ago. There are days when I can't wait for her to take a nap or go to bed so I can get stuff done. But then sometimes, I like to just hold her and watch her sleep and listen to her baby sighs, because I know it goes by WAY too quickly.

Mr. Cool Dude - he's getting so big too. And says the funniest stuff. Now if only I could remember them! I swear, one of these days I am going to buy a little notebook to keep on hand and write them down!

My babies. :) Max is such a sweet older brother (most of the time) and loves to just sit with Caroline and talk to her and make her smile and laugh. It's the best thing to watch.

I was SO happy to get rid of the darn Christmas tree. THIS is why I will never let Walter convince me to get a real tree again!

I have no idea how they can sleep in these crazy positions. My back would be killing me. In fact, it's starting to hurt just looking at this picture.

My very sweet friend Jessica send Caroline this super cute hat. I love it! It's still a smidge big, and she usually ends up with it over her eyes, which I think is hilarious - Caroline, not so much.

Someone found her feet.

2012-01-20T07:44:00.000-06:00

She LOVES to grab and play with her feet and socks. :)

Caroline - Check-up

2012-01-10T21:01:00.000-06:00

This morning, Caroline had her 4 month check-up with Dr. Mijares. We got the very first appointment, so there was only a small wait. Nice. We get taken back and first things first, measurements. Weight is 12 pounds, 9 ounces and height is 23 1/2 inches. Dr. Mijares said she was around 50th percentile in both, which is consistant in how she has been measuring since birth. The charts I have been using online say she is around 30th percentile, so I don't know... Oh, fun fact: Max at 4 months was over 17 pounds. My two VERY different children. :o)

Caroline flirted with the nurse while she was listening to her heart and doing her questions. She was a happy little thing. She loved Dr. Mijares too, and was fascinated with all her tools.

Then the fun stuff - vaccines. Caroline made a sour face the entire time she took the rotovirus, which is an oral vaccine. Then at the end, she spit it out and started crying. Haha. Another side note, Max at the oral vaccines right up. Loved every bit of it. Hence the 17 pounds, I guess. Since she hated the oral vaccine, you can imagine how she took the actual shots. She got two this time, and was NOT happy about it one bit. She cried and gave the nurse the stink eye while she was leaving the room. Just went on and on, while staring the nurse down. Too funny.

Baby Vogue

2012-01-08T15:56:00.001-06:00

Grandma Kay knitted Caroline this sweet sweater, booties, hat and blanket. Caroline's belly is a little too round for the sweater, but isn't it precious?

Caroline - 4 months

2012-01-08T15:54:00.000-06:00

Today Caroline is 4 months old. I love watching her personality emerge, and she is really becoming her own little person. I call her our little pterodactyl because she just shrieks! It's more of like sucking in air when she gets really excited, which makes the shrieking sounds. It's pretty darn cute. She loves her hear herself, so she is constantly yelling - no real syllables yet, just the "ahh!!" She is becoming more social - loves to smile and flirt with people, but she is still very much a Mama's girl for now.

Caroline still has one or two nights a week where she has her "drama queen" moments. I don't call it colic, but that's the closest thing I can describe it as. She just is mad at everything. I don't love it, but it's espially awful when we are anywhere but home. I hate that she often chooses to do it at our friends' houses. Makes me feel like a failure as a mom, but there's just nothing you can do. Boy, when she is mad - you know it. I have a feeling her teenage years are going to be super fun.

Caroline LOVES her big brother, and he loves her right back. THIS is why people have more than one baby. It's perfect. I know that all too soon, they will be fighting nonstop and hating each other, but right now - all they know is love. <3 Caroline watches her big brother so intensely, and he loves to hold, hug, and kiss her and random moments. This morning, he told me that he was Mommy, and he wanted to feed Caroline. I looked as he was lifting his shirt. I had to laugh as I told him that it doesn't really work that way. Which reminds me, one morning before work, I was feeding Caroline, and Max was next to me on the couh. He was telling me, "I like her eyes. I like her hair. Do you like my hair? I like your boob." I laughed so hard. (Boy, he is really going to love me for these stories, isn't he??!)

Back to the big girl - she is still sleeping pretty great. Most nights we wake up 0-1 time. I am so thankful that she is a sleeper. Naps are okay I think, we don't have very structured days on the weekends because we are always doing something.

We are still breastfeeding exclusively. I think Caroline has only had two actual bottles of formula. I don't pump as much daily, that she eats in a day, but somehow with a few extra pumpings in the early morning or on weekends, we have kept up pretty decently. It's stressful, though. I wish I had enough of a stash to not worry about it, and to be able to go out for the evening, or even overnight, but at this point, it's impossible. It's okay, though. I'm proud of us. :)

Caroline has a check-up on Tuesday, so I'll update with measurements then. I'm also expecting us to get the go ahead to start cereal. I'm undecided if we will go ahead and start it, or wait a little bit longer.

The Year of Two Thousand Twelve

2012-01-01T21:59:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!

Last night, we rang in the New Year at home. Caroline is still little, and just doesn't do well out of her routine, especially being out and about after her bedtime. We didn't really want to mess with it, and I enjoyed having a low-key weekend. We haven't had one in awhile, with all the birthday and Holiday hoopla. Sadly, Max, Caroline, and I were in bed by 9:00 p.m. Walter said he came in to kiss me at midnight, and I grumbled incoherently and rolled over. Sorry, sweetie.

I'm not one for resolutions. I'm not opposed necessarily, but honestly, I can't remember something like that for longer than a week. I do have things that I want to work on, so I guess you could call them resolutions for fun.

Work on my relationship with Jesus. I have a lot of work to do spiritually - I want to be a better person. I would like to read the Bible completely. I need to pray more. Live his Word.
Be a better mom - have more patience. Play more. Say "yes."
Be a better wife - date nights and understanding.
Weight - yes, it's on here too. I really need to lose some weight. It's creeping back up, and I really am not happy about that.

There are more things I need to do - clean, organize, save money - all the usual things, but these are my most important.

I am so looking forward to this new year. Max is 3- which is a fantastically, fun age. Yes he can be frustrating, but he is so funny, charming, and I am enjoying him. I am excited about all of Caroline's firsts - she is such a joy to our lives -a sweet, innocent baby. I love watching her personality emerge. I can't wait to get to know her even more.

Bring it on, 2012.

Christmas Morning

2011-12-26T21:09:00.000-06:00

By the time we got home on Christmas Eve, it was very late. On the way home, I looked outside up at the stars, and I couldn't help but think about Christmas Eve's when I was a kid. Driving home from my own grandparents' house, and staring at the sky, trying and hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa. Even when I got only enough to know better, I would still look. Just in case. Now I'm in the front seat, watching the stars out of habit, and I have my own kids in the backseat. It's an amazing feeling. And surreal.

We got home, and both kids were asleep. Poor Max walked inside and laid on the couch to fall back asleep. While I got Caroline to bed, Walter said Max crawled to his bed. What a sweetie he can be sometimes. I went ahead and set out the cookies and milk for Santa, and took pictures so Max could see. I was sad that he didn't get to participate. But he was still excited when I told him the next morning.

Christmas morning, I woke up to my alarm. Luckily I set it, because I don't know that any of us would be up by 8, when my parents came over! I got up and picked up and got the house read for "company." (i.e. my parents) When Max woke up, he was pretty grumpy, and didn't notice anything at first. I pointed out the cookie plate and milk, and then the presents Santa left. Later, he had fun telling about how "Santa came and ate the cookies and drank the milk, but didn't eat the cookies all up, and left a mess- silly Santa."

We let Max play with his Santa gift, and Caroline's too, since she was still sleeping! When my parents came over, I remembered the stockings. Just like he did with his stocking at Grandma Jackie's house, he took everything out one at a time. It was kind of a long process. I love that he was so excited about every little thing.

At this point, Max was no stranger to presents. He knew to flip over the box, find the seam and ripped and tore through the paper. He even helped Caroline open her presents. She slept through it all, and was generally unimpressed with Christmas altogether.

Mom and Dad joined us for a quick church service and treated us to a chinese buffet lunch. :) It didn't really feel like Christmas to me, but I'm excited to start new traditions with my growing family.

Busch Christmas

2011-12-26T20:59:00.000-06:00

Friday, Walter joined me for my office Christmas lunch at Chatters. After lunch, we picked up Caroline, and headed to Walter's grandparents to get Max, and then headed to Tulsa to see Walter's parents. We had to stop at Target to get stocking presents and get a new gift for Max, since one we already had gotten was also given to Max at the Tersinar Christmas. I have never seen a store so ravaged! It was insane! Shelves were completely bare. After making it to the house, Walter and his dad went back out, and after five Wal-Marts, three Targets, two Toys-R-Us's, and a KMart, they finally settled on something else. Who would have thought a dang Buzz Lightyear would be so popular?

We stayed up Friday night visiting and decorating "ugly Christmas sweaters" for Christmas Eve. Grandpa John and Grandma Mary came over to see the kids, which was nice. We don't get to see them much anymore. Both kids stayed up too late, but Caroline, bless her heart, slept until 6:30! She's totally my favorite. Nights with Max, especially somewhere other than home, were always torture.

Christmas Eve day was pretty laid back, which is always nice. Aunt Audra let Max help make sugar cookies, which he was just thrilled about. He loved it! The kids got to open presents, and, once again, they were spoiled rotten.

We spent Christmas Eve at Grandpa and Grandma Busch's house. I have actually never been to the Busch party on Christmas Eve all of the time we have been together. So it was fun to go this year. It's always a good time, and the kids are so loved. Max loves playing with the "big kids" and it's too bad Emmitt wasn't there, because they are definitely buddies. Caroline was passed around and I think she loved it. My pretty girl. Our ugly sweaters were a hit - I think it's going to become a tradition. Although, it wasn't quite as funny when I had to take Max into the bathroom at the gas station. The sweaters are not for public! ;P

Christmas!

2011-12-26T20:24:00.000-06:00

Last Sunday, started off "Christmas" for us. We began the day at church, and Max "participated" in the children's Christmas program. I use quotations, because his group only sang one song, and he sat on the floor and refused to sing, like most of the other three year olds. It's okay. He still looked cute. Except for that nose-picking part. Caroline looked cute too. (Minus the giant drool, which I only noticed when I uploaded this pic.)

After church, the kids and I drove to Farlington church to celebrate Christmas with the Tersinars. It was a great day. Everyone was there - including Josh, his girlfriend Sondra and the kids. The only one that was missing was Jake. :(

Caroline decided to have one of her "fussy days" and spent a good part of the party crying, so that was fun. Grandma got her to sleep, though. We ate an awesome Chicken Annie's lunch, and then let the kids open their presents. These kids are awfully lucky to be so loved and showered with gifts.

We had to get a picture of all the grandkids together. I'm really bummed because Jake isn't in it. This is the closest we have gotten to all the kids in one picture. We are slowly getting closer to that magic shot...

The adults drew names for the second year in a row. It's kind of fun! Dawn drew my name, and she made me the coolest gift ever. She had borrowed all the pink, black, and silver ornaments that were used as decorations from Walter and my wedding. She took the ornaments and made me a wreath. I LOVE it!! It is so fantastic.

Update on the Sickness

2011-12-25T21:28:00.000-06:00

So last week, I picked Max up from daycare at noon. He went to Grandma and Grandpa Busch's in OK on Tuesday. Wednesday, Meme came and stayed with him. He was STILL having random fevers, so on Thursday, Grandma and Grandpa Busch came up to stay with him and take him to the doctor for us. I should have been there, Mother of the Year Award, but I really can't afford to miss more work. Anyway, turns out Max has bronchitis and pneumonia. And now I'm feeling really guilty that I didn't take him in sooner. I'm on a roll, I tell ya.

He's got one more day of medicine, and seems to be feeling good. The coughing is mostly stopped, and we haven't had any fevers for a few days. But now, Caroline is coughing, and I've been worrying myself sick all weekend, so tomorrow we are going to take her in to get checked out.

These kids...

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

2011-12-25T14:41:00.002-06:00

Still sick.

2011-12-19T21:34:00.000-06:00

It started about three weeks ago. Max had a rough cough, that just did not go away. He gave it to all of us - runny nose, congestion, cough - fun stuff. Finally I took him to the doctor who diagnosed him with a sinus infection, and wrote us a prescription for augmentin, an antibiotic.

The Saturday before his birthday, he was suddenly sick - vomiting all day. Poor guy. For a week, he would seem okay, complain of a belly ache, and have random vomiting. Finally, we put 2 and 2 together and decided that his medicine was upsetting his stomach. So we quit it. He seemed to finally be getting better.

The last couple of days, his cough has returned. Today, his daycare called me and said he was running a temp of 101, so off I go to get him. When I picked him up, he seemed a little warm, and was clingy, but it was in the middle of naptime. By the time we got home, he was acting okay, and when I took his temperature, it was normal. I gave him some tylenol to be safe, in case my thermometer isn't accurate. Except for the extra long nap, he has seemed fine.

The daycare has a 24 hour rule (can't come if they have had fever, vomiting or diarrhea in the last 24 hours) so he can't go tomorrow. From Dr. Google, I've decided that maybe Max has bronchitis, which I'm pretty sure you can't do anything about. *sigh*

Max Behind the Camera

2011-12-15T10:05:00.000-06:00

I was taking a picture of Max and Caroline, and, as always, Max wanted to see the picture after I took it. I showed him how you could see the "picture" on the screen and you push the button to make it snap. He thought that was pretty cool, so I let him take a few pictures. It's funny what they think is worthy of a picture.

And then he insisted I take a picture of "these two lids." :)

PSU Football

2011-12-15T10:03:00.000-06:00

Pittsburg State is where Walter and I both graduated college from. We are extremely proud and excited that our football team has been doing so well. This Saturday they will be playing in the NCAA Division 2 championship game. Woo-hoo! GO-Rillas!!

Anyway, last Saturday was the Semi-finals, and Pitt was hosting the game. My boss has two tickets that he gave me, and I tried to give them away, but no one I knew needed or could use them, so I talked Walter into taking Max.

Apparently, he LOVED it, and was cheering and yelling with the crowd. I wish I could have seen him experience his first game. His favorite part was the popcorn. Haha. They left just before halftime, because it was really, really cold. The funny thing is that Pitt State scored 21 points from the time they left to the time they got home. Less than 5 mintues! It was a crazy game. Can't wait to watch the championship game and cheer on our Gorillas to a victory.

Random Picture Update

2011-12-15T09:58:00.000-06:00

Sweet pea! I love it.

He's obsessed with wearing gloves.

Pretty girl ready for church.

My two beautiful babies. I love them!

They love each other. :)

My big girl is getting stronger all the time.

Caroline's Christmas stocking is hung and ready for her first Christmas.

Oh Christmas Tree

2011-12-15T09:55:00.000-06:00

Walter got our Christmas tree from Home Depot on the Saturday before Max's birthday. He really wanted a real one, but after dealing with the gross water and millions of needles all over my floor - it's probably our last real tree.

We don't have very many ornaments. Mom gave us a couple boxes of theirs, but I ended up only using a few - I really want our tree to be OUR tree. We still need to go get this year's ornaments for the kids. I want to get a new one each year, as a tradition.

Our stockings are hung, and I've been clipping our Christmas cards to the garland. I really like the way it's looking. I love this time of year!

Max's Third Birthday - Part 2

2011-12-15T09:46:00.000-06:00

Saturday night, Caroline and I went to see Santa in Hepler. :)

Sunday morning, Max still wasn't feeling great, so we skipped church. He started to perk up by the afternoon, so we went ahead to Ketchum for his second birthday party. He fell asleep in the car, but woke up about 30 minutes before we got there. He started complaining that his tummy hurt, so I gave him a barf bag just in case. Luckily, he never did get sick, but you could tell he didn't feel good. He sat on Grandma Jackie's lap for quite awhile, and then on Daddy's. He never did get sick, but I think the long road trip made his sensitive stomach turn. Once he started feeling a little better, he opened his presents and enjoyed them. He got another birthday cake, made by Grandma Jackie, but refused to eat any.

Caroline - 3 Months Old

2011-12-13T11:17:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm a few days behind, but I guess it was bound to happen. Life with two is pretty crazy.

So, Caroline is three months old. Every month is the same story - "How is she XX months old already?! Please just stop growing." She's looking more baby, and less newborn, which makes me sad. I love the squishy newborn phase, but I also love the round baby phase too. She's really filling out, and I'm proud, because that's ALL ME. We still haven't had to supplement with formula, which I'm super proud about. I think at this point with Max, he was probably 50/50 with breastmilk/formula. It's taken a LOT of work to exclusively breastfeed, and pumping is not my idea of a good time, but as frustrating as it is sometimes, its' also incredibly rewarding. Now that being said, I think formula is in our very near future. I'm just not getting enough pumped every day to meet what she eats. I'm about 2 ounces short every day. There is actually zero bags left in my freezer, so unless Missy (Caroline's new babysitter, whom I LOVE) has some in her freezer, I'm guessing Caroline will be trying some formula tomorrow.

Let's see, sleep - Caroline is a fantastic sleeper. She is a thousand times better than Max was. I'm so grateful, especially since I am working full-time this go-round. She generally goes to bed around 9 or so, and will sleep until early morning (4-6). Sometimes she will wake up around 12-1. On weekends, when we don't have to get up and out the door, she will sleep until 8 or so.

Her little personality is starting to come through, and she is still very sweet, most of the time. BUT she is also turning into a little diva. She gets pretty fussy at times, and only nursing helps. Other times, she gets downright MAD, and even refuses to nurse. About once a week (last week, it was 3 nights) she cries/screams from about 6-10 or so, until she passes out. She refuses to nurse (it's incredibly hard to not take THAT personally) and all we can do is just wait until she finally gives it up and goes to sleep. Max was never this fussy...EVER, and it's not my favorite. I don't handle screaming child very well, so it's a test for sure. (By the way, don't ever pray for patience, because God just gives you opportunity to practice.) This is one phase I hope doesn't stick around for too long.

Everyone says Caroline really looks like Max. I think so too, mostly. I think she looks a lot like my baby pics though, sometimes. Her hair is growing a little bit.

We didn't have a doctor check-up this month, but we did some home statistics. She weighs around 12 pounds, 4 (ish) ounces and is about 23 inches long.

Thanksgiving - Part 1

2011-12-08T11:48:00.002-06:00

We got to do Thanksgiving in Tulsa for the first time since 2007! 2008 I was about to have a baby, and the next two years, Walter had to work. It was nice to be able to join the family again. We had a big crowd, and Max had fun playing with everybody, and Caroline enjoyed lots of attention -even though she was pretty fussy that day.

On Friday, we went to the mall to see Santa, since I had a Groupon, and this would be the only time we would be in Tulsa while Santa was there. Luckily, the mall wasn't too busy, and the line was short. Max wasn't scared at all, and neither was Caroline. I was suprised that Caroline was smiling for the shoot, but Max had that awful, fake smile. We did manage to get a decent picture though. Max told Santa he wanted a Batman car.

We celebrated Thanksgiving with my family on the following Saturday. I can't really complain about TWO Thanksgivings! It was a nice, low-key event with my family, which is always fun. Of course my camera was still dead, but maybe I can steal some pictures from Dawn.

Max's Third Birthday - Part 1

2011-12-08T11:37:00.001-06:00

Max turned 3 on Sunday, but we had a FULL weekend scheduled. Saturday consisted of Home Depot workshop, Max's birthday party, buying our Christmas tree, and the Hepler Community Christmas dinner. Sunday was church, Party #2 in Ketchum, and Great Grandpa Busch's church Christmas dinner. LOTS to do.

Max's birthday shirt that I made for him:

Early Saturday morning, Max came into our room crying that his belly hurt. I sent Walter to get a bowl, just in case. Suddenly Max covered his mouth, and Walter was moving slow, so I grabbed Max and ran to the bathroom. Luckily we made it in time. Poor guy was sick on his birthday! He was sick every couple of hours, so we skipped the HD workshop. After much debate, we decided to go ahead with his party. We had already paid for the building, and it was immediate family only, so we could make it short and sweet. Poor guy fell asleep on the floor before.

He was pretty puny for the party, but started to perk up a little bit. He got lots of fun new toys to play with.

While we sang Happy Birthday to him, he just covered his mouth. I was afraid he was going to puke, but he was just embarassed. :)

After the party, poor Max complained that his belly hurt, and sure enough, he puked his cake up in the car. He stayed sick for the rest of the day. Walter went to get the tree by himself, and Caroline and I went to Hepler by ourselves. I'm sad he missed out on so much, and it really stinks to be sick on your birthday. Not fair.

Mesmerized

2011-12-07T10:34:00.000-06:00

Somebody was really into Daddy's phone. And Caroline was too. Bah dum bum. ;)

Milestone!

2011-12-07T10:30:00.000-06:00

Since I have been back to work since Caroline was 6 weeks old, I have been dreading all the firsts that I am going to miss. The odds are just not in my favor to catch the milestones. But last night, Caroline and I were in her room, on the floor, because that's where she finally quit crying. I put her on her belly for some impromptu tummy time. I was surprised how well she held herself up. It seemed she had much more strength than the last time, only days ago. She was kind of tilting, to look up and over at me, and suddenly she flipped right over on her back! She looked so surprised, and so was I! I put her back on her tummy, and she repeated it 3 more times. Later, when Walter got home from the store, she even showed off her new trick to him. I'm so glad that I got to see it.

After rolling over.

Looking at this face, you would NOT believe that she had been screaming and crying for 3 hours prior.

Aaaaalmost....

Three.

2011-12-03T22:35:00.001-06:00

Three YEARS. Three years ago, at this time, I was sitting at home, getting ready for bed - my last night as a "non-parent" - wondering about how the next day would unfold. Scared and nervous about labor and delivery. Excited to finally meet the stranger in my belly. Relieved for an induction so I could quit wondering when it was all going to happen. I barely slept. The day was long. So long. Progress was slow, and at the same time, looking back, it all seems like a blur. Hazy. I remember laying around, watching tv. We had so many visitors excited to meet the new baby. The scare with his heart rate dropping. The fast and furious delivery. It was one of the most intense moments of my life. It all happened so fast, suddenly he was HERE. He was crying. To this day, one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard. I can't describe the emotions of hearing your baby's first cry. I was crying. They put him on my belly, and he was so alert and stared right at me. That round face - my baby. Maxwell Lynn Busch.

Fast-forward three years. Three years. I keep saying it, keep expecting it to sound different I guess. How is it possible THIS is my BABY. I miss my baby so much, but this little guy that I have now - he is something special. He is the funniest person I know. He's a story teller, and the things he comes up with kills me. I love this new age, where he has his own thoughts and opinions. He's fiercely stubborn, like me, and has my temper. But he's such a people person, just like his Daddy. I see the smallest bits of Walter and I, but Max is definitely his own person. I adore watching his personality grow. I feel honored to have that insight into his true self, as only a parent can have. I am so proud of my boy - he's mostly polite, and well-behaved. He shares and plays nicely. Sometimes, I actually feel like we are doing something right. Every day is a struggle, because on one hand, I'm sad that he's one day older, but I'm excited to see what the next day brings.

Max - I am so proud and honored to be your mommy. We have our struggles, and I'm sure we are going to have so many more, but please know that I love you more than anything, and that's not ever going to change. I don't know what this fourth year is going to hold, but I'm truly excited to watch you grow and change even more. I love you.

Updated - Max had his 3 year checkup. He is doing awesome, of course. He is 37.7 inches tall, and weight is up to 32 pounds, 12.8 ounces.

My first quilt ever- FINISHED!

2011-11-20T15:09:00.000-06:00

It's been several months since I have worked on my quilt. It's been half quilted since the first half of this year. Then I got pregnant, and didn't feel like it, and then life happened, and it just got put on the back burner. The last couple of weeks, I have felt the urge the get it back out and get it done. This week, I ordered the fabric for my binding. Yesterday morning, I got my sewing stuff together and finished the quilting. It's not the prettiest, but I did it!

We went to lunch with Mom and Dad and Dustin and Meme, and when we got home, my fabric was waiting in the mailbox! Perfect timing! I cut my strips, sewed them together, and pressed. I was really nervous about attaching the binding. My original tutorial that I followed gave hand sewing instructions, but I found some instructions on maching binding that I decided to do instead. It's not as nice as hand-sewing, but I really was just excited to finish it, and I didn't think I could get it hand sewn in time for Max's birthday. Also, I'm just really not good with sewing by hand.

After I got the binding attached, I took a break to check on my sleeping family. :o)

And then I was done!! I can't tell you how excited I was to finish it! It looks pretty good - especially if you don't look TOO close. It's going to be one of Max's birthday presents, even though he's already seen it. I'm going to wash it, and maybe the quilting won't look so messy. I'm so proud of it, and I hope that Max always has it, and someday knows how hard I worked on it. Now I need to get to work on Caroline's.

Almost-three year olds are so funny

2011-11-20T14:58:00.002-06:00

Max has decided that he needs to sleep with socks on his hands. Kids are so strange.

The other baby in our house

2011-11-20T14:57:00.000-06:00

Somebody is fascinated with her own reflection. She also has some mirrors above her changing table, so I let her look at herself. She just smiles and laughs at the baby in the mirror.

Binky Fairy

2011-11-20T14:55:00.000-06:00

We have been fighting Max over his "binky" for awhile. I have to admit, the binky has been pretty handy to calm Max down over the last couple of years. It has comforted him, and he really really enjoyed it. So I haven't made a big deal over it. I have tried to limit it to bedtime, and maybe in the car, because parents get judged over every little thing, including an almost 3 year old that *gasp* still uses a pacifier.

Anyway, Max has been super attached to his binky, and we have only had one left for awhile, so there have been many tears when it's been missing. I finally decided to try to get rid of the thing. I told Max about the Binky Fairy, who picks up your binky to give to another baby who needs in, and in exchange leaves you a new toy as a reward for sharing. On a whim, I brought it up, and to my suprises, Max said he wanted to do it. (The Binky Fairy had to make a quick run to Wal-Mart that night!)

Before bed, Max left his binky where the binky fairy could find it:

And in the morning, he woke up to find that the Binky Fairy had come to our house!

She even left behind some fairy dust!

Max has done pretty well without his binky. He asks for it every now and then, but we remind him that the binky fairy already gave it to another little baby, and he goes about his business. It was actually a MUCH smoother transition than I had anticipated.

Purple Dress

2011-11-20T14:43:00.000-06:00

This purple dress is mine from when I was a baby. Mom found it while they were cleaning and packing the house up and gave it to me. I remember there was a collage frame of pictures of Dawn and I - she was probably 3 and I was a few months old, and I was wearing this purple dress. It looked like it was about Caroline's size, and I couldn't wait to try it on her. She looked absolutley precious in it, and I LOVE the idea of having something to pass down to her when she has a daughter too. (I'll try to scan in a picture of me wearing it.)

Sleep

2011-11-09T22:08:00.000-06:00

Caroline has been a decent sleeper. She usually has a fussy period in the evening, and fights going down, but once she's down for the night, she usually only wakes 2 or 3 times to eat, and goes right back to bed.

The last few nights, though, have been pretty awful. The second we put her in bed, she would wake up. Instantly. She only would sleep while being held, or if I nursed her in bed, and didn't move her after she fell asleep.

Last night, I put her to bed, and while she tried to wake up, I kept my arms around her in the pack-n-play, like I was still holding her. After a minute, I backed up and held my breath through her slight movements. I went to bed and woke up about seven hours later, to an aching chest. It was 5:00 a.m. Caroline slept through the night!! We got up for the day at 5:30, but I felt so refreshed after such a large chunk of uninterrupted sleep.

Let's hope for a repeat performance!

It's that time again...

2011-11-09T15:25:00.000-06:00

With Max's birthday in three weeks, and Christmas in another three weeks, I'm starting to get that question about gift ideas for the kids. So to make it easier for family, I have "Wishlists" for the kids with lots of items they would need or want. The wishlists are permanent on the right side of my blog, just click the name to take you to their list. Most of the items do not have to be bought online - you can find them at Wal-Mart, Target, etc.

Here is Max's list: http://amzn.com/w/29IO2RB4FZIHG

and Caroline's list: http://amzn.com/w/ATSLNWCU3C6O

As always clothes are always welcome.

Max is in size 3T for shirts and pants, size 9 for shoes.
Caroline will be in 3-6 month clothing, but babies grow fast, so any size over that is appreciated as well. Also, HAIRBOWS. :o) AND DIAPERS.

Building Stuff

2011-11-08T20:52:00.000-06:00

Saturday was the Home Depot workshop, so off we went to "build something." On the way, Max kept saying we were going to build a cupcake birdhouse - whatever that is... But when we got there, we were building a picture frame. We haven't put a picture in it, but Max insists we put one of him "building" in it. :)

Caroline was pretty unimpressed, as usual.

On our way out, two boys were getting their picture taken with their projects in front of the lumber, so Max insisted we stop and take his picture too.

Just for fun - Comparison

2011-11-08T20:41:00.000-06:00

Caroline @ 2 months

Max @ 2 months

Caroline - Two Months

2011-11-08T20:00:00.000-06:00

Little Miss is two months old. I've told her that she's forbidden to get any bigger.

She's still a pretty easygoing little thing. She loves to smile and coo at Mommy - actually she's quite the Mommy's Girl for right now. I'm sure it's because Walter's been gone for a large chunk of her life and also, I'm her food source - so yeah, I'm probably her #1. I do feel bad, because I don't want Walter to feel like he can't make her happy (she has a fussy period most evenings, and the only thing that calms her is nursing) but he hasn't learned how she likes to be held or patted, so it's hard on all of us.

She still has not been introduced to formula, which makes me happy, for some strange reason. I am not opposed to formula, but I guess I feel like as long as I hold off for that first time, then the less we will want to depend on it. Formula is also the opposite of cheap. I'm pumping at work, and coming home at lunch to nurse, so we're making it work. I'm watching my freezer stash get smaller, and trying not to stress about pumping as much as she's eating in a day.

She's a pretty decent sleeper. She has her moments (like her three hour party at 1 a.m. the other night) but for the most part, she sleeps well. Most nights she wakes up around 12 and 3 to eat, and we are up for the day around 6 or 6:30.

Last Friday, Caroline had her two month check up with Dr. Mijares. She weighs 10 pounds, 8.5 ounces and is 21 1/2 inches. She looks great and is meeting her milestones including: smiling, cooing, responding and following noises, and pushing head and chest up off the floor during tummy time.

Poor baby had to get her vaccines. She got three shots in the legs and the one she drinks. She made some pretty funny faces while drinking the oral vaccine, but took it pretty well. The first shot, she kind of flinched but was okay, but the second one she screamed and her face turned bright red. And the third one just really pissed her off. At this point, she was wailing, and I was crying too. I remember crying with Max's first shots, but it got easier, so I was surprised that I was emotional about it. I guess it's becuase they are just so little and helpless. You never want to see your baby in pain, even if it's for a good reason.

Weight: 10 pounds, 8.5 ounces

(45th percentile)

Height: 21 1/2 inches (I think it was actually more like 22 inches, her head was kind of scrunched up)

(25th percentile)

Halloween 2011

2011-11-06T20:48:00.000-06:00

Since Walter was going to be out of town for Halloween, I had originally planned to take the kids to Hepler for the Halloween parade. Unfortunately it was at 5:30, and I didn't have enough time after work to get home, get Caroline fed, get the kids dressed, and drive all the way there. :(

So I convinced my friend Melissa to go trick-or-treating with us. She made us dinner, and off we went to the nice neighborhood by the hospital. It was packed!! There were cars and kids everywhere. We only walked down three streets, and then went to one of my attorney's houses, and to Grandma Kay's, but it was plenty. Max loved it of course, and Caroline slept through most of the excitment.

Pumpkin Carving

2011-11-06T20:43:00.000-06:00

We bought pumpkins to carve several weeks ago after we went to the Pumpkin Patch. But our weekends have been so busy, and the pumpkins were HUGE, we never found a time to carve them. Finally, it was the weekend before Halloween, so it was now or never. Max was so into it! Last year, we couldn't get him to touch a seed, and this year he was up to his elbows in pumpkin guts! I went with a traditional jack-o-lantern face, and Walter did one of the stencils (Max called it a bat, but I think it was a vampire). My pumpkin had the cutest little curlies on the stem, until Max pulled them off.

Pre-Halloween

2011-11-06T20:39:00.000-06:00

Walter was going to be in Tulsa for training on Halloween, which we were pretty bummed about. I heard about a trunk-or-treat and spooktacular at Memorial Auditorium the Friday before, so I thought it would be a fun way for Walter to get to experience Halloween with the kids. Max was Superman and Caroline was our little ladybug.

Max had his class party that day, and I'm pretty sure he had a lot of sugar with no nap, so needless to say, he totally crashed. He fell asleep on the floor before we could even get out the door.

By the time we got there, the trunk-or-treat was over already. We got inside, and the place was so crowded. We stayed for about 30 minutes, got a couple treats and Max played a couple games. It was pretty disappointing, actually.

Caroline's wings :)

Love this!!

Picture Update

2011-11-06T20:32:00.000-06:00

Max has been full on potty training. He would NOT poop, and went four days without going at all. I begged and bribed, and he finally went on the potty! Of course he remembered that I told him he could have the Hungry, Hungry Hippos game he wanted if he did it. The kid has played with this game for hours.

Baby girl was sucking her thumb, and it was too precious.

Mommy is hi-lar-ious.

Max got to feed his sister for the first time. He was so over it in about fifteen seconds, but it was pretty sweet while it lasted.

No make-up, dirty hair, and bags under the eyes = new mommy. <3

Saturday morning

Go Pitt State!

Earthquake!

2011-11-06T20:28:00.000-06:00

Last night, I was in bed nursing Caroline to sleep. Walter was in the living room getting ready to play video games, and Max was asleep in bed. The window above my bed started shaking pretty hard for several second, and at first I thought it was the wind, but then I noticed my bed seemed to be moving too. I actually thought it was in my head, and asked Walter if that was the wind. He told me yes, probably, but he didn't know what I was talking about. I said, "maybe it's another earthquake." A few minutes later, Walter is talking to Brandon who mentioned it, and a friend of mine texted me, so I knew it was an earthquake. I got on Facebook to confirm, and it was all anyone was talking about.

Anyway, it was pretty small, but in Kansas, it's really rare, so it's pretty cool that I actually felt it!

Working Mommy

2011-10-29T14:35:00.001-05:00

Well, I survived my first week back to work. Caroline is perfectly good and fine, obviously. I trust Vanessa and know she is perfectly capable. But I'm still jealous. I can't be the one to hang out and cuddle with her every day. I should be the one she sees when she is upset or hungry, I should be the one who rocks her when she's tired. I'm Mommy.

*sigh*

But I live in a world where you can't survive on one income. At least we can't. We've crunched all the numbers, and believe me, I tried, but it's just not possible. We can barely pay all our bills as it is.

ANYWAY, I went back to work this week. Walter had training this week, so I was on my own. And we had something ALIVE in MY ATTIC. So this week was pretty awful all the way around. I only cried a little on Monday. I had just dropped Max off at daycare, and it seemed so quiet in the car, and I was driving the opposite way of home, and it just felt wrong.

The girls from our small group (from Church) sent me some pretty, cheerful flowers.

Work this week has been interesting. We have two new girls from when I left. I have to take two breaks to pump - which is completely stressful on so many levels. I feel like I'm being timed, or that people are going to be annoyed that I'm not "working" at that moment (even though I'm clocking out, which is a whole 'nother rant) But the stress affects what I am pumping, which I'm then stressed about how quickly we are going through our frozen stash and I'm not pumping enough to cover what she's eating, and it's this huge spiral of stress. Boo. :(

I'm certainly not "Mother of the Year" at home, either. Max spends way too much time in front of the t.v. He eats crap. I am too busy feeding or just holding Caroline, who has her "fussy time" in the evenings to play with Max. He's lucky if he gets a bath every other night, and he probably needs it every night these days. My house is a disaster zone.

All this rambling nonsense to say, I'm back at work. I wish I was still home with my baby.

Precious

2011-10-21T12:52:00.000-05:00

I mean, does it even get cuter than this??

PT - Total Mom Post

2011-10-21T12:50:00.000-05:00

Max got a new game - Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Let me first say that this is crazy to me, because this game was one of my very first games when I was little. What's not to love?

Anyways, the reason he got a new game (that was going to be one of his birthday presents) is because he finally pooped on the potty! After four days of holding it, I saw him getting really uncomfortable, and I really didn't want to be cleaning that up. I was practically begging (and bribing - thus the new game. The kids has the memory of an elephant.) him to go for several days and he just wasn't going to do it. Finally, during his bath last night, Walter said he stood up, panicked, saying that he needed to go, so Walter threw him on the potty and he went!!

Woo-hoo!!! Now we'll see if he continues it.

Blogging about poop. Yep, I'm a mom.

More Potty Training

2011-10-18T09:18:00.000-05:00

This weekend, Max wore diapers more than underwear. He's a pretty stubborn kid - I don't know WHERE he gets it.

Yesterday morning, he wanted to wear underwear to daycare again, and when I picked him up at noon, he was dry. On our way out, he wanted to go back to his class to potty. I usually pick him up on the playground, and I didn't want to walk all the way across the building, so I took him in the hallway bathroom. It doesn't have a small potty like his class, but it's smaller than a regular toilet. He FREAKED. He refused to sit on it, and when I finally convinced him to get on with my help, he wouldn't pee, so we left.

Once home, he still wouldn't pee in his potty, and fell asleep on the floor before I could put him in a diaper for his nap. I was sure he would pee in his sleep, but when he woke up, surprisingly, he was still dry! This is where I knew we were going to lose it. Max would. not. sit pee or even sit on his potty. I battled him for a few hours, and he just was not budging. I tried begging, bribing, shaming, nothing worked, and I knew I was going to be cleaning a mess. FINALLY around 5:00 he finally agreed to go, and went fine on the potty for the rest of the night.

Of course we put on a diaper for bedtime, but Max went ALL DAY with no diapers and no accidents! (He never did poop though, so I'm sure that's coming... hopefully in the toilet.)

Catching Up

2011-10-17T18:26:00.000-05:00

If you can't tell from the multiple posts, I have uploaded pictures from my phone, and I'm trying to play catch-up on the blog.

Caroline slept (napped) in her crib for the first time (for all of fifteen minutes). The girl does not want to sleep when you lay her down.

Mom, Dawn and Brazos, and Caroline and I went out for a Girls (+1) Day to celebrate Mom's birthday. We had coffee and cake pops, Olive Garden, pedicures, and shopping - all our favorites! It was awesome. :o)

Caroline in her party dress - The ladies at Trinity Church threw Caroline and I a shower on Sunday. It was nice! I was surprised when they asked, and it has been so nice getting more involved and getting to know everyone at church. We have decided to join the church, and continue attending even after we move (yes, I know I still need to write about that). I will also be getting baptised, which I am very excited about.

I have been pumping once a day since Caroline was a couple weeks old, trying to build a stash up for when I go back to work (SOBNOIDON'TWANTTOTALKABOUTIT) next week. We decided to let Caroline practice with a bottle so she doesn't freak out on poor Vanessa. She was a little confused at first, but got the hang of it quickly. Although, she did seem a little more frustrated the next couple of times I nursed her. Six weeks of maternity leave is a JOKE, by the way.

Caroline's cousin, Brazos, was nice enough to lend Caroline his activity mat. She loves it! It makes tummy time a little more bearable.

Haha, I was trying the old "stacked children" pose, but it's not easy to pull off with one adult. I still think it's cute, though.

And the old "ring on a teeny-tiny toe" picture. Yes, I could nibble those toes all day long.

Caroline's new best friend.

2011-10-17T16:03:00.000-05:00

Why did I wait five weeks to put new batteries in this thing?!

My Silly Boy

2011-10-17T15:58:00.000-05:00

Max is one funny kid. He keeps us laughing, whether it's something he says or something he's doing just because.

Exhibit A: Play Table Gymnastics

Exhibit B: Giant Monkey Rodeo

First "Real" Bath

2011-10-17T15:55:00.000-05:00

I don't know what we did with Max's old bath tub, so Caroline has been getting her baths in the kitchen sink. My mellow baby doesn't mind them one bit, until you take her out. She's not a fan of being wet and cold.

Welcome from the President

2011-10-17T15:50:00.000-05:00

Caroline got her welcome card from President Obama today. He's not my favorite president, but it's still pretty cool.

Water Color Painting

2011-10-17T14:58:00.000-05:00

Last week, I bought Max a set of water color paints, and let him go crazy! (well, clean-crazy, anyway.)

Smiley Girl!

2011-10-17T13:54:00.002-05:00

It's really hard to get a good picture of Caroline's awesome smiles. She stops just when I get my camera out!

Potty Training

2011-10-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

Oh potty training. How I hate thee.

We have been informally potty training for at least a year. We have tried not to push Max into it, but have always kept the potty chair visible, ask whenever we can if he wants to sit, and talked about it. It's been a slow process, but we have tried not to make Max uncomfortable about it.

As we are approaching Max's third birthday, and with Max in daycare, looking at preschool, we have been trying to focus on it a little bit more.

Caroline's arrival, and our long stay in the hospital, have been a huge roadblock in the PT road. For five weeks, Max just said no to anything PT related completely. No potty chair, no underwear, don't even look at me about it and put on my damn diaper already.

BUT! Tuesday night, I somehow convinced Max to pee on the potty, and then he told me he wanted to wear underwear to daycare the next day. Wednesday morning, he was still insisting on wearing underwear, and I was nervous! He often says he wants to do something, or will do something, but if you ask again, he changes his answer. Not this time! When I picked Max up at noon, I fully expected him to be wearing his extra pants I brought. But no! I was SO proud, that we stopped for ice cream on the way home celebrate. Of course he peed in his pants at home while we were eating, but who cares! This was a HUGE step. HUGE.

He wore underwear again yesterday, and peed in the potty at daycare, even once while I was there, but I noticed as I was putting him in the car that he was wet, and sometime had peed in his pants before I got there. But still a huge step. He stayed dry last night at the mall too.

This morning, he has willingly worn underwear. We had one small accident so far, but considering our journey, these last few days have been amazing progress.

Pumpkin Patch!

2011-10-14T09:52:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday, we all went to the Pumpkin Patch. I had intended to get our pumpkins for carving, but pumpkins from the pumpkin patch are overpriced. We had a fun time anyway - they have tons of fun things for kids, and Max could have stayed all day if we let him! They had some big blow-up toys that can be seen from the road, so obviously that had to be our first stop. Max loved this big caterpillar "obstacle course" and went through it several times.

Of course Mommy made him stop and take pictures at every opportunity. Isn't that what moms do?

He thought this big pumpkin was pretty cool! Can you imagine trying to carve that bad boy?!

He wasn't crazy about the hay maze, and we steered him around the corn "sandbox" because I knew we would NEVER get him out of there. He loved the train ride, of course. It's really hilarious, becuase he yells, "Cheese!" whenever he sees my camera. Candid pictures are getting harder and harder to catch!

He LOVED the bounce house. It was close to impossible to get him out of it. He really did look so cute just bouncing around in there like a little pinball.

Caroline spent the trip snoozing away in my sling. She couldn't have been happier, and I couldn't either!

The "petting zoo" was a hit, because Max got to feed the goats, which was pretty cool. I couldn't believe he let them eat out of his hand, but he thought it was pretty great.

We had such a fun time! We did buy Max a tiny pumpkin becuase we promised him a pumpkin, but our carving pumpkins came from Dillons. :)

Fun with beads

2011-10-14T09:37:00.001-05:00

I have been feeling bad for Max lately because in the afternoons when he is home, I am so busy with Caroline that I am not always available to play with Max. So I have been trying to come up with some fun activities that are new and I don't have to be so hands on. I bought this bucket of mixed beads at Wal-Mart - it has all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors of various beads, and these have kept Max busy for hours. He doesn't get to play with them very often, because it can get kind of out of control and messy, but he loves them. His favorite beads are the animal shaped ones. Best $5 I ever spent.

::EDITED TO ADD::

Shortly after writing this, Max was playing with the beads again and said "ouch!" He had put a bead UP HIS NOSE. When I told him to blow, he sniffed instead, which started to freak me out. Finally he figured it out and shot it out.

Miscellaneous Pictures

2011-10-14T09:34:00.000-05:00

Some random pictures of recent days.

How on earth can she sleep with her neck completely sideways?! Ouch!

Max has started taking his naps on his fold out couch. Hey, whatever it takes...

Max was dancing to the music from the tv. Not sure where he learned his sweet moves. :)

Our amazing church brought us dinner three nights last week, which was so awesome, since I was on my own (Walter was at work training - more on that later). Max especially loved the desserts.

Caroline loves to stare at this fabric of one of my nursing covers. She's mesmerized!

I cannot believe how well she can hold her head up already. This picture was when she was a 2 or 3 weeks old. It's so outdated now - Her favorite thing to do is have me sit her upright so she can look around.

Max showing me how he can roll his tongue! I dont' know where he learned how to do this - daycare maybe, but I was impressed!

Max is all about Caroline. A little too much sometimes. He loves to crawl and lay all around her and often ON her. She's not always a fan.

I got a ring sling, and I am still learning how to use it, but I LOVE it. Caroline loves it mostly too. It's been really handy when she wants to be held, but I have stuff to get done. I've even worn it out in public a couple times.

First trip to the dentist

2011-10-14T09:16:00.000-05:00

Last week, I took Max to the dentist for his very first check-up. I wish I had a picture, but between the crying baby and the nervous toddler, to say I had my hands full is putting it mildly.

Let's back up. I made the appointment two weeks ago, and at 2:02 on Wednesday afternoon, I rememberd that Max had an appointment at 2:00. Crap! I had just fed Caroline, and Max was sleeping. So I run in to Max's room and yell for him to get up. Of course he wakes up confused and freaked out, and instead of listening to my instructions to get us out the door, he stands there crying. I'm trying to get Caroline changed and in her carseat, trying to get Max changed and dressed, and out the door. Of course the dentist office is all the way across town, and we get there twenty minutes late. I HATE being late.

Anyway, Max is a new patient, so I have a couple forms to fill out. Max did great and played quietly in the waiting room, but Caroline decided she was still hungry, and was mad. So I'm trying to fill out these papers on my lap, while also bouncing a fussy baby and trying, unsuccessfully, to convince her that her binky is just as good.

Finally, the nurse takes us back. I'm still trying to calm Caroline down, and trying to decide if I should just feed her already, and trying to help the nurse with Max. He pulled his "I'm shy" act, and refusing to answer any questions. We finally get him warmed up, and he gets to pick out new toothbrush and got some stickers.

Somehow I managed to get Caroline to fall asleep, so I tucked her into her carseat and into the corner. I had just convinced Max to sit in the big chair on my lap, when Dr. Wood came in. She made a big deal of counting and looking at Mommy's teeth first, and Max let her count and look at his teeth too. We had practiced opening our mouths really wide before the appointment, but when it came down to it, he was a little nervous. Dr. Wood said she couldn't see any cavities, and we obviously weren't doing x-rays or cleaning yet. She thought his teeth looked great, and that's always good to hear.

He really did a great job! They let him pick a pencil out of the treasure chest, and we stopped for ice cream on the way home to celebrate. :) (After I fed Miss Fussy pants in the backseat of the car, of course.)

One Month

2011-10-08T20:58:00.001-05:00

*sigh*

And so it begins. It starts with One month old. Then two months, three, six, then her first birthday, and then she's in school. Gah! I can't stand it. Why does time have to go so fast and take our babies away?! I'm not ready!

Caroline at one month old - she's an amazing baby. We had a scary start, but through it all, she has been the calmest, sweetest thing I have ever known. Even today, I had to put drops of saline in her nose and suction it, and she didn't make a sound. She only cries if she's hungry or ready for bed. She is starting to stay awake for longer periods and loves to be sat up so she can practice looking around. Her neck is already getting so strong.

Sleep - We have good nights and bad, of course. But, she is much better than Max was. MUCH better. Sometimes it takes awhile to get her to go to bed, but once she is down for the night, when she wakes up to eat, she goes right back down without much fuss. She usually only gets up a couple of times during the night.

Eating - Caroline is still exclusively breastfeeding. She has had no formula at all. In fact, she hasn't even had a bottle. I have been trying to pump once a day to build a stash for when I go back to work, and Walter has offered to feed her a few times so I can sleep, but I would rather save it. I don't have a lot extra at the moment anyway. I'm thinking about getting some fenugreek to increase my supply a little, so I can pump more. I have to say, it's an amazing feeling knowing that you are the sole reason why this tiny person is growing and thriving. A little narcissistic, maybe, but also amazing.

For now, there isn't much to report. She started giving us little smirks and coos. I know this is just the beginnig of the many milestones to come. I go back to work in two weeks, and it kills me that I will likely miss most of her firsts. I was there for nearly all of Max's. Six weeks of maternity leave is a joke.

I will have to weigh and measure the princess tomorrow. I didn't get a chance to do it today.

::UPDATED::

Weight: Caroline is now up to 9 pounds, 2 ounces. (46 percentile)

Height: I'm not sure about how accurate Caroline's original measurements or my current measurements are (newborns are hard to measure!), but the change seems pretty drastic. Anway, today, we measured her at 21 inches long (59 percentile).

Celebrating 4 Weeks Old...

2011-10-06T13:09:00.000-05:00

Baby girl smiled at her Mama this morning!! (a few times!)

Weekend in Oklahoma

2011-10-05T10:38:00.000-05:00

Last weekend was the start of the Tulsa State Fair. Walter and I have been every year since we started dating. It's kind of funny how much changes in one year - the first year we were dating, the next engaged, the next married and pregnant, and so on...

Friday night, after Walter got off work, we headed to Tulsa. It's actually been awhile since we've been down, because I was pregnant and not traveling. Great Grandma and Grandpa Hill came over to meet Caroline. I think they liked her. :)

Saturday morning, we all packed up and headed to the fair. Caroline did pretty great, and actually slept most of the day. I was worried about the logistics of breastfeeding at the fair, but we did fine. She only woke up a few times to eat, and we managed to find comfortable places, and with my cover, most people didn't even notice us. Also, side note, people go CRAZY over a little, tiny baby, don't they? I wonder why that is...

Max had a blast, of course. Any time we do something with lots of people and activity, he is happy. He loves to watch people and be moving around. This year he was big enough to ride some rides, and ohmygoodness he was in heaven. He would have done it all day long, and to be honest, if we could afford it, I could watch him ride all day long. The look on his face was amazing - he was SO. HAPPY. I was suprised that some of the rides he went on didn't scare him, but he seemed to love the scary ones best. He's getting so big.

One day at the fair isn't enough, especially now that we have to fit in time for rides. The booths are my favorite part, and I only saw about half. We didn't see the animals at all, or go in the kid's building. Just too much to see, and not enough time! We did make time to see the hypnotist twice though, because it was awesome.

Sunday we had the Busch September birthdays at Great Grandma and Grandpa Busch's house. It's always nice to get together and visit. Caroline was the star, though, as new babies tend to be.

We have a belly button!

2011-10-04T21:17:00.000-05:00

Saturday, I noticed Caroline's umbilical cord stump was hanging on by only a tiny piece. It was oozing on her onsie, and frankly, I was totally grossed out. As I cleaned around it with my little alcohol swab, I kind of pulled at it gently to see if it would come off. But it just hung there, looking all gross.

Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. Aunt Gretchen finally agrees to change her diaper. She has avoided changing all of Max's and now Caroline's, but finally worked up the nerve to face the dreaded poopy diaper. As she is undressing Caroline, she picks something up and says, "What's this?" Grandma Jackie says, "Oh! That's her belly button thing!"

Gretchen screamed, threw the cord stump and fell over on the floor. I don't think we'll ever get her back in front of a diaper. I think I may have peed myself from laughing so hard.

Kids - they're so literal.

2011-09-29T16:35:00.000-05:00

Oh my gosh. I just asked Max how high he can count to, and he started counting, and jumping with each number. Hysterical.

Weight Check.

2011-09-29T16:32:00.000-05:00

I took Caroline for her weight check after last week's appointment. We also counted it as her 1 month check up, so we don't have to come in next week. Caroline is now up to 8 pounds, 5 ounces which is fantastic. The crazy thing is that's still less than Max weighed when he was BORN. Anyway, she's gaining about 20 grams a day, which is normal. She's also up to 20 1/2 inches, which seems like a lot in 3 weeks, to me. Dr. Mijares says she is perfect. :)

Oh, she also has some baby acne going on. Her face literally started breaking out today. I felt like I was watching it break out, because it just seemed like more and more as we were sitting there.

Getting easier.

2011-09-29T16:01:00.000-05:00

Well, life with two is getting a little easier. Max is still pretty clingy and whiny, but he's getting a little better. Caroline is a great baby. Her sleep at night is pretty iffy still. She's not unpleasant at least, she just doesn't want to sleep when everyone else is, which is rough. Luckily, my hormones are getting back to normal, so I'm not quite so weepy. Well, I mean I am officially a cryer now, since becoming a mom, but you know.

Saturday was the Fall Festival in Girard. Max loved the parade. The fire trucks were by FAR his favorite part. The candy part wasn't too shabby either. I was worried how Caroline would do, because I knew I would have to feed her at some point, and like most newborns, she tends to get hungry at the most inconvenient times. I was pleasantly suprised, though. She slept through pretty much everything, and I actually had to wake her to feed her. The courthouse has nice deep windows, so I picked one with a big bush near it, and had a nice little private spot to nurse.

While I was feeding Caroling, Mom and Dad and Walter took Max to play on all the blow-up kid things, and when I caught up to them, Max was in line to ride a pony. It was worth the wait, to see the look on his face. He LOVED it, and you could tell that he really thought he was such a big boy, riding all by himself. He kept reaching and petting Lucky. So fun.

It's always nice to go back and do those traditional events that you've dont your entire life. It's strange how things seem the same, but so different. I mean, I used to be in the parade and doing dance routines, and now, I'm taking my KIDS to these things. So crazy. I loved seeing all the familiar faces from my past and catching up with old friends. It was a good day.

When they think you aren't looking...

2011-09-29T14:32:00.001-05:00

Max has this rug with a town and roads on it that he loves to play with it. He often goes into his room and plays quietly for long periods of time, just driving and parking and pretending.

Last night, I was in the bathroom, and I heard him talking to himself about where each car was going. I heard him say "hospital... go see Mama.... baby..."

It was really cute.

Also, the kid has a steel trap.

What do you think?

2011-09-24T18:14:00.000-05:00

Everyone says Caroline looks just like Max. Here are their pictures at similar ages:

Max

Caroline

Life With Two

2011-09-22T14:30:00.000-05:00

Wow. This time has been the craziest roller coaster I've ever been on. Parenting two children is so much harder than I expected. I know it's still early, but I never dreamed the highs and lows I experience daily, and I know that hormones are a huge part of it.

Nobody tells you that you are going to cry for no reason at all, or that the smallest things can set you off. That one minute you are so full of happiness you could burst, and the next you are bawling because your two year old just. will. not. listen.

I look at my two babies, and I can't even begin to describe how incredibly blessed I feel. God has given me these two amazing creatures and lets me call them mine. They are the most beautiful, precious things I have ever done.

But. It's been so hard. Caroline is only two weeks old (today!) and I'm a frazzled mess. I haven't had a shower in four days. I'm pretty sure Max hates me, and to be honest, most of the day, he's not my favorite person. He refuses to listen to me or do anything I ask. He is all over the baby. He whines and cries at the most insignificant events. He has completely quit any kind of potty training. He refuses to walk, and instead stands directly in front of you when you are trying to walk, trying to trip me and the baby. He yells "No!" and freaks out over pretty much anything I say. I've had near mental breakdowns fighting with him. I'm not proud of how I've acted on more than once occasion.

I KNOW that he's just trying to adjust to our new life. I KNOW that it will get better, but in the moment, I'm filled with rage and disgust over the way he is acting. I yell and say "no" way too often, I know it, but he's just so defiant.

Caroline's sleep has taken a nosedive. She was doing so great, but the past few nights have been worse and worse and worse. Last night, she would fall asleep as soon as I picked her up or fed her, but a few minutes or even seconds after I laid her down, she was awake. It's incredibly frustrating. Sleep deprivation turns me into this ugly person that I can't stand to be.

I'm not proud to admit these facts. But this blog is the story of our life, and right now, our life isn't always roses. It's not easy and it's not pretty, but I love my family more than anything. I really can't wait to watch the relationship grow between Max and Caroline, and I hope that they will always see how much I love them, even when life tests us.

Doctor's Appointment

2011-09-21T09:27:00.000-05:00

Caroline had her first doctor's appointment yesterday morning. I forgot how much I dislike all these appointments. The health center is always crazy busy, the wait is long, and the people are interesting. But I like our doctor, so we keep going back.

Anyway, she weighed in at 11 pounds, 14 ounces, and measured 19 1/2 inches.

Doctor Mijares says she looks perfect, but she came out of the hospital weighing 11 pounds, 15 ounces, so she wants us to come back in next week for a weight check. She thinks the IV may have influenced the hospital weight, so she's not worried, but wants to be sure.

Of course Caroline decided she was hungry in the middle of the appointment, so I spent half the time trying to keep her calm. I forgot how nerve wracking this stage is, before we start bottles, and trying to plan around the feedings so we don't get caught in an awkwards situation. Most places don't have convenient nursing areas, and I really don't like to make other people uncomfortable with me nursing.

We're Home!!

2011-09-19T21:57:00.000-05:00

Last Friday could not come fast enough! We were all ready for Mommy and Caroline to come home, in such a bad way. The morning was slow and torturous - we waited for 11:00 to roll around to start the Caroline's last round of antibiotics. The day before, Dr. Mijares said that if her IV blew again, then Caroline would just get the last dose as a shot, instead of giving her yet another IV. Her IV didn't blow, but her tubing was so twisted that it kept kinking itself up, so I guess they decided to just do the shot anyway, because the nurse came for her clothes to do her pictures, and told us her IV was out. Happy Mama!

This outfit was the first one I bought for our princess. I got it as her coming-home outfit just a few days after we found out we were having a girl.

Max LOVES his little sister so much. Sometimes (often) he has to be reminded to be gentle, or not to poke her in the eye, or to quit climbing on her. But he is just so fascinated with her, loves to get up close to her, and gets excited when she's awake. He has regressed a lot - won't even attempt potty training anymore, wants to be carried, cries when we drop him off at daycare, wants attention - but I'm hoping it all gets resolved soon.

The trip home was pretty uneventful. You can't even imagine how excited I was to walk outside. I was so happy, even with the rainy weather. Max thinks it's pretty fun to have a partner in the backseat. Caroline did great on the ride. We stopped by my office to introduce her, and to pick up my paycheck, then settled in at home. The weekend was nice - Walter had the entire weekend off, so it was nice to spend the full weekend together as our new family of four.

Saturday, Caroline had newborn pictures taken, so she got her first bath. She was not a fan. I have a very similar photo of Max like this. However, she really is SO calm. As soon as I was done, she was looking around and completely fine.

Sunday morning, Caroline attended church for the first time. Everyone at our church was excited to see her. She was very popular. :) She did great through most of the service, but of course wanted to eat right towards the end, so I had to slip out the back.

Sunday afternoon, Walter's family came down to celebrate his birthday and work on Walter's car. His parents got Max his first real bed. Max loves to jump off it. Last night, he did end up on the floor several times. In fact three times that I checked on him, he was sleeping on the floor. The last two times, though, he was still in his bed, so I think he's getting used to it. It is super cute though!

One of Those Embarrassing Mom Posts

2011-09-15T21:46:00.000-05:00

Max will probably hate this someday, but I really don't want to forget it.

I knew it would be awkward the first time Max saw me nursing Caroline. I tried to be prepared for his questions, but you never really can be.

The first time Max saw me feeding Caroline in the hospital, the look on his face was absolutely priceless - he was so interested, and concerned about what was going on. He studied and studied, and asked "Mama, what you doing?" I told him Caroline was eating, and he just would not believe me. He laughed and said "no" and I told him she was drinking milk from Mommy. He kind of looked at me like I was crazy, and said "Ewww..."

Now, of course, he's used to seeing me feed her, and while he's still interested in watching every now and then, I think he gets it. Or at least, gets it as much as a two year old can.

One Week Old

2011-09-15T19:04:00.000-05:00

Miss Caroline is one week old today and we are still hanging out at the hospital. But not for long - we have one more round of antibiotics in the morning, and then we are OUT OF HERE.

Baby girl is doing pretty great. Her pneumonia is gone, we just have to finish the antibiotics to kill the rest of the bacteria in her body. She hasn't thrown up (besides the normal baby spit-up) in a few days, and her jaundice is all clear too. She's nursing like a pro and sleeps pretty well. I guess I don't know how it's going to be overnight, because she still goes to the nursery while I'm sleeping. She has the sweetest personality. She's still very calm, unless she thinks she is starving, and even then, she's pretty polite. :) I love watching her sleep or awake - she makes those yummy baby faces and noises, and watches the world around her with such interest.

Max is having a pretty rough week. He isn't sleeping, doesn't want to listen, and acts out. His schedule is non-existent, he misses me like crazy, and his world is upside down. I don't blame him one bit. Tonight, he is staying with Uncle Dustin and Aunt Meme, because Walter has to work. Max and Meme came to visit me and he was all choked up when he came in. After some good snuggling, he finally started to perk up, until it was time to leave - then he was trying so hard not to cry. I felt my heart breaking into a million tiny pieces, watching my tiny guy try to act so brave, but just really wanting his mommy. Ugh!

I'm doing better too, mostly. I'm so ready to get out of here. I haven't been home, or even outside, in 8 days, and barely left my room. I haven't broken down in a couple days, so there's that. I still get a little choked up at times, but that's progress.

Sick Little Girl

2011-09-11T10:44:00.003-05:00

Caroline, like Max, was born on a Thursday night, so by the time she was passed around and cleaned up, we were in our room and EXHAUSTED- ready for bed. Caroline was in our room, like normal, and she did great. She nursed once, about 30 minutes after she was born, and did amazing. She nursed again that night, and Walter changed her diaper twice. She threw up once, and we didn't think much about it, because Max was had major spit-up issues.

About 5:30, Caroline's nurse came in to take her to be weighed, she came in later that morning and told us that Caroline had threw up and turned blue (basically stopped breathing) so the doctor wanted to do some tests. We talked to the doctor, and after doing some tests and x-rays, they decided she probably had pneumonia. Dr. Pence (not Caroline's actual pediatrician, but the one on call this weekend) said she has never seen a baby turn THAT blue before, but was confident that they caught it early and after a week of antibiotics, she would be fine. I was terrified, and with all my already-crazy hormones, an emotional wreck.

We finally got to go see Caroline around 10:30. Of course I broke down- she had an IV in her right hand, an oxygen tube in her nose, and all these wires sticking to different parts of her body, not to mention the various bandages from her pokes and prods. She slept most of the day Saturday, but I did get to hold and feed her a couple of times. She had to stay under the warmer, and needed some help breathing with the oxygen.

The nurse on Friday night was great - she came and got me every time Caroline woke up so I could nurse her. It was complicated, and scary, but I was worried about my supply during all of this. I pumped a couple times, but tried to visit her every few hours to see if she would wake up and eat.

Mom and Dad were great and kept Max Thursday and Friday night, which was a relief. His poor schedule has been completely thrown off, and it's not going to get better anytime soon. I will be here with Caroline, and they will be in and out when they can around his daycare and naps and Walter's work, and then next Monday, Walter starts his new job. It's a lot to deal with, and I hope it's not to hard on him. Oh the Mommy Guilt is strong this week. I can't be everywhere I want/need to be at once, and (once again those hormones) it's just making me kind of fragile, emotionally.

Anyways, Saturday was a good day, mostly. Caroline's oxygen was turned down, and eventually she was removed from it. We had to wait 4 hours to see if she did good at breathing on her own, and also maintaining her own body temp. She did throw up again, so they did an ultrasound, which came out fine, so they still don't know why she is throwing up.

I was discharged as a patient on Saturday afternoon. There was some confusion (and of course tears on my part) but my nurse didn't really know that I was still staying as a "room in mom" and said something to me about leaving, which I was just not prepared to hear or do. For now, I'm in the same room, but if they need it, I may have to go somewhere else. I don't care if they stick me in a closet, as long as they don't make me leave without my baby.

Saturday afternoon, Caroline FINALLY got to come back to be with me. She will be in the room, unless I am sleeping or need to do something, because she obviously still needs to be watched to make sure she isn't choking on her spitup. We did have one episode last night where she threw up right before I started feeding her, and I had to suction her, because she couldn't breathe past it. Seriously scary, but I know it could be worse.

She is doing great at nursing, and is becoming quite a fan of it. She is definitely an enthusiastic eater, and has that barracuda move that Max used to do. After eating a bit, she usually gets a little irritated that there's not more, and will try to relatch, and gets quite dramatic about it. I hope her father's patience comes out with age, because I'm not sure if I can handle two children with my short temper. She started out so mellow and calm, and I was so happy, but now, I can definitely see her little fiery side, which makes me laugh, but also scares the crap out of me. Her little cry is so squeaky.

Dr. Pence just came in and said she seems to be doing better. Still no answers about her throwing up, but we're just watching it. She's giving us some medicine for her skin (she's been very sensitive to the tape and bandages, and has horrible marks from them on her face and body) and they are going to bandage her arm where the IV bandages have rubbed her raw. :( Caroline's pediatrician will be in all week to take over her care, and if things go as expected, we should get to go home on Friday afternoon.

My computer is having wifi issues, so I won't be connected all week, which will be torture. I depend more on my internet than on tv, books, or any other form of entertainment/communication. I know these last few posts have been random and jumbled and rushed, but I wanted to get down as much from these whirlwind days as I could remember, because it's already blurring and fading, and I know I've already forgot so much.

Birth Story - Part II

2011-09-11T08:34:00.002-05:00

Walter and I left Dr. Shaw's office to pick up Max. We grabbed lunch at McDonald's, and went home to pick up the house, and grab some toys for Max to play with.

At the hospital, of course we had to check in and register. Once upstairs, we got the formalities out of the way - urine sample, IV put in, blood drawn, etc. My L&D nurse, Lynda, was called in because I was coming in, but the crazy thing is that she was my mom's high school best friend. Small world! Grandma Kay even came in to keep us company.

Max was pretty good, for the most part. We had a small room, and he got a little cranky (no nap) at times, and a little wound up (thanks, Grandpa Jeff) a few times, but surprisingly he was really good. And I'm excited that he was able to be at the hospital to meet his sister, especially considering how things turned out.

This is where I wish I would have taken notes, and that was totally my "plan" so that I could better remember, but at least I have my text messages to refer to.

Around 3:00 I got my epidural - it went a little quicker than last time. Apparently there is not a lot of space between in vertebrae, so that's why it's a little tougher. Also, my tilted pelvis makes my spine a little uneven as well. I did get nauseous as the medicine was going in, because my blood pressure dropped, but thankfully I never did get sick. Shortly after that, I got my pitocin started. Thirty minutes later I was dilated to 5 1/2 cm, and at 6 cm by 5:00.

Around 5:30 Dr. Shaw came in and broke my water, which was disgusting. I won't go into too many details, but I do NOT remember it being like that with Max. At this point I was at 7 cm, and Dr. Shaw didn't think it would be too much longer.

At 7:15 I was up to 8 cm. Lynda, my nurse, was off at 7, but she waited around and did some paperwork, hoping I would have the baby before she left. She hung around until about 8, and said that I would probably have her right after she left, because that's how it works.

At this point, my epidural was wearing off, and I could really feel every contraction coming, hard and fast. I really had to just close my eyes and breathe through them. I did mention to my new nurse that I could feel them, and I thought she said she gave me some more medicine, but I never did feel any relief after that.

Around 8:10, I really started feeling the pressure to push, but I had to wait for Dr. Shaw to get there. This part was absolutely miserable. Trying to stop your body from doing something it wants to do is not easy, and it was excruciating. I don't think I had much pain medicine left in my body, because until she was born, I felt EVERYTHING.

I finally asked about pushing again, and the nurse said Dr. Shaw was getting dressed, so I could practice. I knew I wouldn't be pushing long, after my experience with Max. After a couple "test" pushes, Dr. Shaw was ready, and we started working to get Caroline out. I can't describe the experience - it was nothing like Max's delivery. Like I said, I felt everything that was going on, including the nurse "helping" me. I had been crying since I was told to not push, and by now, I was kind of panicked about what I was feeling. The pushing lasted about 15 minutes or so, but it's such a blur. I think I blocked a lot out, but I remember being more vocal (I was nearly silent with Max) and crying out a lot. I asked if her head was out, because I was desperate to be done. Dr. Shaw said yes, and they were suctioning her. I think I would have pushed her out faster, but I was almost not wanting to push at times, because I did not want to keep putting myself through the pain. Finally, I knew we were close, so I just kept going and at 8:28 pm, she was finally here!

They put her on my belly, a beautiful mess, and I was sobbing. She was a lot smaller than I expected and not much of a cryer. She measured only 18 inches long (I would have bet money that she was going to be longer than Max was) and weight 7 pounds, 11 ounces - my dainty little lady.

Birth Story - Part I

2011-09-10T08:05:00.000-05:00

Well, we've been on quite the emotional roller coaster this week. I guess I should start back at the beginning.

Tuesday, all day I had random contractions that felt a little different than normal. Shortly after Walter left for work that evening, they started coming, and just kept coming, so I started timing them. I never had to do this with Max, so it was an interesting experience. They got about 2-9 minutes apart and I debated if this was "real" or not. I really hate all the unknowns about labor - it's confusing and scary. Around 9:30 they pretty much fizzled out, so I went to bed. I woke up a couple hours later to more contractions, and when they kept coming, I asked Walter to come home, because I was getting nervous. These were coming 3-7 minutes, but the hospital doesn't want you to come out until your contractions are regularly 5 minutes apart. I finally fell asleep around 2:30 and felt contractions all night.

Waking up on Wednesday, I really felt like it would be the day. After Walter dropped Max off at daycare, we walked for a few hours trying to get my contractions "regular." While walking, they were coming strong and fast, but when sitting, they would slow down. Or, vice versa, when I was sitting and they were coming, if I stood up, they would stop. So very frustrating. We ate a spicy lunch and did lots more walking throughout the day to see if labor would really start. At this point, I was getting frustrated, and embarrassed that everyone was waiting and hoping to see if we were in labor, but - still nothing to report.

That night was an even worse night. Not only was I waking up to contractions all night, I also realized that I had a nice head cold from Max. A baby gift, I guess. My nose was running all night, which meant it was draining all night- so my throat felt like I had swallowed glass, and I woke up feeling so nauseous. My body felt like I had a fever, so I didn't feel like more walking. I mostly just napped and rested, until I finally called Dr. Shaw's office to see if she could see me that day (Thursday) instead of waiting until my scheduled appointment on Friday. Luckily they could fit me in right then, so off we went.

My weight was up 1 pound (so official baby weight gain was 8 pounds.) My blood pressure was up a tiny bit (wonder why?) and Dr. Shaw came in to see me. We talked about my contractions, and she checked me. I was up to 4 cm, and she asked how I felt about having the baby today? I said, "Yes, PLEASE! I would love that." The hospital was busy - they had several girls come in that morning, but they knew some would be leaving, so Dr. Shaw told me to go get some lunch, and head to the hospital. They would at least start my antibiotics (for Strep B) and would eventually get pitocin started.

I felt so relieved! Finally, this was going to happen.

Caroline Marie Busch

2011-09-08T20:28:00.000-05:00

Tick, Tick, Tick...

2011-09-07T19:19:00.000-05:00

A ticking time bomb - that's what I am right now, and I'm not enjoying it one bit.

39 Weeks - Watermelon

2011-09-02T20:21:00.000-05:00

One week to go! How did this happen??
"Your baby's waiting to greet the world! She continues to build a layer of fat to help control her body temperature after birth, but it's likely she already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of her skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath."

39 Weeks

I had another checkup this morning. I lost a pound! (Total weight gain 7 pounds.) Blood pressure was higher than last week, but still not too bad for me. I was really curious to see if I've made progress from last week. Dr. Shaw came in (baby had good heart rate (156) and measuring good) and I am dilated to 2 cm. She seemed pleased that I had made the progress that I did. We made an appointment for next Friday, and will discuss induction then, if I make it to that point, but she also seemed to think that I might go into labor this week on my own. I'm REALLY praying to get through this weekend, though, because Dr. is going to be out of town, and would not be delivering for me. I do NOT want that. At. All. So now, I'm just worried about it - not that I can do anything about it.

I'm honestly hoping to be induced again. I know there are people out there that are so against induction, but I had a fantastic experience with being induced with Max. I hate that "ticking time bomb" feeling that I could, literally, go into labor at any time. I liked knowing that I am going to get up, go to the hospital, and have a baby. It's easy to make plans with all our families - especially figuring out what's going to happen with Max - STILL don't know who's going to be with him during the EVENT.

I feel fine. Work is still exhausting. I would love to be able to hang out at home and take it easy. I would kill for a nap about six times during the day. My mood is starting to get a little wacky - I'm cranky, easily annoyed, moody - but for the most part, I feel fine. I have random shooting pains through my pelvic/groin area. I think it may be that the baby has dropped, and is pressing on a nerve. My sleep leaves a lot to be desired. I think it's pretty cruel that you can't get a few days of decent sleep before you bring a newborn home.

August Recap

2011-08-30T10:10:00.000-05:00

August has been a pretty busy month. We had to move out of our apartment at the end of July, and we still had not found a house, so we moved everything from out apartment and storage unit into an even bigger storage unit, and packed the bare necessities into Grandma Kay's house. A few weeks later, we finally found a house that was acceptable, and moved everything again. Moving twice in one month (while you are 8 months+ pregnant even!) is pretty awful, and it looks like we will probably be moving again sooner rather than later. I really hate moving.

Anyway, even with all that going on, we had lots of other things going on. The first Saturday of every month, we do the Home Depot children's workshop. This month, Max and I invited Grandma and Grandpa to go with us. Grandpa and Max built a pencil box - interestingly, Max's project came out with straighter edges and corners than when Mommy and Daddy help. :) Max got another pin for his apron, and a certificate. They even had paint set up, but we decided to pass on that part.

That same afternoon, Dawn threw me a "Pink Party" to celebrate our little princess. It was a nice little party with close friends and family in attendance. We got lots of PINK clothes and pretty girl things.

The first week of August was also the Crawford County Fair. I was a bad mommy, and I didn't take any pictures. We went twice - the first time, we ate, and walked through the exhibits quickly, let Max ride a few rides, and left. It was just HOT, and I'm ginormous pregnant. Saturday, we went again, with Dawn, Jake and Brazos. It was HOT again, and I wasn't feeling very well. I sat at one table inside the gate and didn't move until we left. Walter took Jake and Max to ride some rides, and Dawn enjoyed the funnel cake I was craving earlier in the day. I watched. :) We left pretty quickly, though.

While we were staying at Grandma's house, Max's crib never got put together, so we took the opportunity to get Max used to sleeping on his bed, instead of the crib. Although, even now, in the new house, he's sleeping on his crib mattress on the floor. When Walter's parents come up again, they are bringing a full size mattress and box springs (I think) which will also sit on the floor as his bed. He's done wonderful with the "transition." He stays in bed (sometimes he ends up sleeping half off or even all the way off his bed) but doesn't usually get up to play. When he wakes up, sometimes he calls for me, but lately he has started coming to our bed, and letting us know he's up, or crawling in bed with us.

One weekend, Max and I went to stay at Mom and Dad's to visit with them, and give Grandma Kay a break from our chaos. Grandma was keeping Brazos, so Max LOVED playing with his cousin. Grandpa even set up the pool, which thrilled Max.

We are all moved into the new house, but have LOTS of boxes still left to unpack and sort through. The garage is a disaster area, but for the most part, we are "settled." Max loves his new room and has to show everyone that comes over. He's really good at playing quietly in there sometimes, and helping me pick up his toys. He's turning into such a big kid, and it's awesome to watch.

Another exciting event this week - Max started at the Center. After a year and a half on the waiting list. He goes Monday through Thursday 8-12. Yesterday was his first day and he LOVED it. He told me all about it, and asked me first thing this morning if he was going again. He remembered that he was in the Turtles classroom, and was too big to hold my hand walking down the hallway to his class. He has absolutely NO problems making friends, and his teacher said he listens and behaves so well, which, as a mom, is fantastic to hear.

Awana

2011-08-28T21:56:00.000-05:00

Last weekend at church was the first week of Awana - which is a club for kids where they work on learning bible verses and establish their relationship with God. We were asked if Max was going to join, and decided that it would be a good idea. Max's group, the 2 & 3 year olds, are the Puggles. It's an introduction to the club, and it's obviously not as strict as the older groups, but it's a great start.

And God said, "Let there be light." - Genesis 1:3 (God made the light.)

Max's first week, Walter took him (I was doing my maternity pictures) and he loved it. He always loves going to Church, and he learned that "God made the light." He painted the picture above, and practiced his verse.

God made the sky.

Today, I took Max. When I picked him up, he was wearing an "I'm a good helper" sticker, and I was told he was very good, and helpful. He learned "God made the sky," and even told it to me (with a little help). He colored a sky, heard a story, and glued cotton clouds. As I was making dinner tonight, I heard him singing a song about God making the sky. I guess he learned it at Awana, and I'm not sure exactly what he was saying, but I was so impressed that he remembered it when we were home!

38 Weeks - Leek

2011-08-26T15:46:00.000-05:00

38 weeks. 2(ish) to go.

"Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb. Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old."

Here's some fun belly shots: Little Miss @ 38 weeks on top, and Max @ 38 weeks on the bottom:

Max was definitely lower!

I am feeling pretty good still. Staying BUSY and stressed with work and the house. This week, heartburn has decided to join the party, so the last two days have been super fun. My pelvic pain has returned, mostly at night, so I think my bed is part of the problem. While at Grandma's house, it didn't seem to be as bad. My torso feels very "full" and bending is a real challenge. There is just no. more. room. But really, I can't complain.

Another weekly checkup with Dr. Shaw this morning. My blood pressure was really good - better than I've seen all of this pregnancy I think, and with Max's pregnancy too. I didn't gain any weight again, so still holding steady with the 8 pound total gain. Maybe I'll lose 1 or 2 pounds next week. A girl can hope, right?

Dr. Shaw wanted to check me today, so I had to undress from the waist down and wait with a paper "blanket" in the waiting room. Something was going on, and my wait was a LONG one. Talk about uncomfortable. But, they (she had her medical student again, which kind of weirded me out that he would be there for the cervix check, but I didn't want to say he couldn't be there, because I realize they have to learn somewhere... Luckily he stayed by the door, though.) finally came in - baby's heart rate was good, as always. I'm measuring between 39 and 40 weeks. I am dilated to 1 cm, and I am "very soft" but baby is still high. I think she's going to be a good girl and stay until her due date. I'm still hoping for an induction right when I hit 40 weeks. I would be happy with a 9/9, 9/10, or even 9/11 birthday.

Maternity Pictures

2011-08-24T07:15:00.000-05:00

Sunday, my good friend Bobbi drove down from Kansas City to take some maternity pictures for me. She is working on her photography, and wanted some practice, and knew I needed some belly shots. I could not be more thrilled with how they turned out. It was so nice to spend the afternoon, just us girls. :) Thanks Bobbi! I owe you one!!

37 Weeks - Swiss chard

2011-08-19T15:49:00.000-05:00

37 Weeks = full term. Oh my.

"Your baby is now considered full term, even though your due date is still three weeks away. If you go into labor now, her lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb. She weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long."

I am definitely feeling like I am going to have a baby in the next three weeks. Lots of baby pushing, kicking, hiccups, and contractions going on. Still have some pelvic pain, but doesn't seem to be as much or severe as it was. Work continues to exhaust me daily, and when I get home, I'm too tired to deal with Max. I feel so guilty. Most nights when Walter works, Max goes to bed early. I'm feeling like a pretty terrible mom, but I hope that I can bounce back in a few weeks.

I had another appointment today, of course, now that I'm on weeklies. I gained zero pounds (still holding onto 8 pounds total), which kind of surprised me, but I'm happy. My blood pressure was up a tiny bit. Baby's heart rate was a little high, but Dr. Shaw said they were probably taking it during an acceleration (whatever that is) because towards the end, it was slowing down. She had a student with her, which is always kind of weird for me, but they have to learn somehow, right?

Next week she will check to see if I'm progressing yet, which is probably my least favorite part, but I'm anxious to see what's happening. I asked if I was more likely to go late and be induced again, since I did with Max. She thought Max's size was why I had issues last time, and thinks Little Miss will be around the same size. She did say that all of my braxton hicks contractions are a good sign, and that I might go early. Guess we'll see what's happening next week.

I really want to make it to September.

Max - the Artist

2011-08-14T20:31:00.000-05:00

I really don't understand my kid. Sometimes he can't even figure out how to look where you are pointing (at something 3 feet away) or cries and asks for his binky when its IN HIS MOUTH (seriously.) but other times the kid is a freakin' steel trap. For instance, I showed him how to draw faces about 6 weeks (or more) ago - big circle for the head, two little circles for the eyes, a nose, and a line for the mouth. We did it one time. Then tonight, he's coloring with markers, and decides to draw a face. I was SUPER impressed-

L-R Mommy, Jake, and Dawn

The picture is messed up thanks to my awesome, state-of-the-art phone, but this was going to start out as another face, but Max decided it was actually a worm. Indeed. On this page, he also drew several pickles. :)

36 Weeks - Melon

2011-08-12T12:15:00.000-05:00

Little Miss and I are 36 weeks today:

"Your baby is gaining about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy hair that covered her body, as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Next week, your baby will be considered full-term. Most likely she's in a head-down position, but if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an external cephalic version, where she'll try to turn your baby by manipulating her from the outside of your belly."

FOUR WEEKS. Holy crap.

I am really tired and sore. I get out of breath walking across the room, and carrying this belly around is taking its toll. While I'm not at all ready to do this whole baby thing, I think about 4 more weeks of this, and I get tired all over again. I never expected working to be this hard, especially considering that I have a desk job. But getting up and down to do all my tasks is pretty tiring. Weekends just don't last long enough, and there's just so much to fit in.

I just got back from my doctor's appointment. The office was packed, so I had a nice long wait. Of course, I finished my book on Wednesday, so I didn't have anything to read. But I still enjoyed the quiet. I lost two pounds (total gain is about 6) which made me happy. My blood pressure was up a little since my last few appointments.

I ended up seeing Kay because Dr. Shaw was so busy. They gave me the option, and I didn't have any real concerns, so I went with the less waiting, and I like Kay. Baby's heart rate was around 156 or so. She is measuring about a centimeter big. I asked about her size, and Kay thinks she might be a little bigger than average, so I might have another big baby on my hands.

Now we're down to weekly appointments. Kay told me to keep her in for at least another week, and I told her, she better stay in for the next 4 weeks, which Kay said she doesn't hear that very often. Yes, I know I'm crazy. But even if I was completely ready for her, I would never, ever wish for my baby to come any earlier than absolutely necessary.

Sick

2011-08-12T09:33:00.000-05:00

The last few days have been rough. Tuesday afternoon, Walter called me at work and told me that Max was sick. He had been laying around and acting tired, and then threw up on our bed. One of the absolute worst parts of being a working mom is when your baby is home sick, and you can't do anything to help them.

When I finally got home after work, Max was curled up asleep on the chair sleeping. He looked so small and sad. I hate to see him like that. That evening, he was sick a few more times, and we kept fighting his fever with Tylenol. Neither one of us slept much that night. He didn't get sick anymore, but the fever kept coming back, and his tummy was really hurting him.

Wednesday, Max obviously couldn't go to daycare, so I stayed home in the morning so Walter could sleep. I was exhausted, and I finally convinced Max to lay down and take a nap with me. I went back to work after lunch. For most of the day and evening, Max seemed to be feeling better. The fever was gone, and he hadn't been sick anymore, but he was still acting a little weak, which is normal. But that night was awful. For some reason, Max started vomiting again, and I he would just moan and cry and beg me for medicine. There wasn't anything in his stomach to throw up, and his poor little stomach was making the most awful gurgling noises. I just held him and stroked his hair until he could fall back asleep each time. My day yesterday started at 3:30 a.m.

Walter decided to just stay up with him so I could go to work. Later in the morning, he took Max to see the doctor, who said it was a stomach bug that had been going around, which I suspected. She did give him some medicine for nausea/vomiting. I was in bed by 8 p.m., and Max was too.

For now Max seems to be feeling better (minus his apparent freak out yesterday afternoon. I wasn't there, but Walter said he just screamed for the entire afternoon. I think it might have been a side effect from his medicine, but I guess who knows). I love that he's not hurting anymore, but I hate that period after they are sick, where they are just difficult to deal with. Just moody, grumpy and tired.

35 Weeks - Honeydew

2011-08-05T20:49:00.000-05:00

35 weeks-

"Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that she's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew). Because it's so snug in your womb, she isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times she kicks should remain about the same. Her kidneys are fully developed now, and her liver can process some waste products. Most of her basic physical development is now complete – she'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight."

Oh-Em-Gee. I have five weeks left, and hopefully Little Miss stays put for all five of those weeks!

I am EXHAUSTED at all times, and the pain in my pelvic area is pretty intense. I will still take this over morning sickness though, any day! I know I wanted to write about some things, but I cannot remember them, now that I'm sitting here. Imagine that. I need to hurry up and get a baby book so I can start jotting some things down before princess gets here.

I have received a few gifts this week, and we are so blessed and grateful to have such caring friends. :)

Quick Update

2011-08-04T21:07:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we moved out of our apartment and into Grandma's house. To be honest, it was pretty miserable. It was HOT, and we packed and moved and cleaned, and were exhausted. Walter worked that weekend too, so the poor guy was drained, and we didn't see much of him.

We looked at a house today, and while it's far from perfect, it might be our best option right now. It's month-to-month lease, and he has offered to waive the deposit. It's just not as nice as I had hoped to find, and I'm a little gun shy about making another mistake, so I've been doubting myself all afternoon. I just wish it would have been nice enough to not even have to think about it. But I'm really doubting that there is anything good in this town. I just don't understand how many people think these houses are actually livable. Maybe for college kids, I guess. Anyways, the landlord is supposed to fix a few things this weekend, and we make a decision on Monday.

It's been kind of a tight squeeze at Grandma's house, but we are all trying to enjoy each other's company. I know it's been nice to see her more, even if it's a little more than tiring trying to keep Max out of everything he's not supposed to be in, and away from the dogs. It's never easy to live with someone else, but we are thankful that we had someone to take us in.

34 Weeks - Cantaloupe

2011-07-29T12:25:00.000-05:00

34 weeks:

"Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers – which she'll need to regulate her body temperature once she's born – are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies."

36 weeks pregnant with Max

36 weeks pregnant with Little Miss

I am feeling HOT and TIRED. I have braxton hicks contractions all. the. time. But I'm not too worried abou them because they don't hurt and they aren't really progressive. I am having more hip/pelvic pain, which Dr. Shaw says is probably my tendons stretching, rather than hips spreading. Either way, it's pretty painful. It's worst over night. Baby girl is all over the place. She isn't in my ribs as much, right now, she likes to try to kick out my left side, but every now and then she still likes to tuck her toes under my left rib, which always gives me a shock.

I had another checkup this morning. I love checkup mornings because I get to sleep in a little bit (not today, though, thanks, Max) We went for breakfast, though, which was a nice change of routine. I gained 1 pound, which made me happy. I'm trying to stay away from the ice cream sandwiches! (Total weight gain is at 8 pounds, I think.) My blood pressure was really good today and little miss's heart rate was 140. Short and sweet appointment, which is how I like them. Next appointment is in 2 weeks, and after that I start going weekly.

I can't believe that I only have 6 weeks to go. Lately I've been thinking she might come early, but I really hope not. We need all the time we can get. The time has gone so quickly. It's sad that this might be the last time I get to do this (even though, in general, I'm not a fan of pregnancy). I do love this special bond that only I have with her. Selfishly, I love that she's all mine. All the little nudges and rolls and pokes. At night before bed, we poke each other back and forth. I can't wait to meet her. :)

The funniest kid I know

2011-07-26T15:42:00.000-05:00

Max was playing the game where he grabs your nose and "throws it away" with Me, and then he was pretending to steal Baby's nose and put it on me or throw it away. At one point, he proudly told me that he stole her nose, and preceded to laugh the perfect evil villain laugh.
His attitude is equally amusing and enraging. His go-to response's when he is getting in trouble is "Okay!....Jeez!" or "Fine!"
I tell Max all the time "I love the heck out of you" and he's started replying with "No, heck-you!" which I think is ridiculously cute.
Before I got in the shower the other morning, Max grabbed me on the rear and yelled "squishy tushy!" I've squished his bottom and said the same thing since he was born, so I don't know why it surprised me. It was really funny though.
We try to get Max naked whenever we can because he is more willing to pee in the potty if he isn't wearing a diaper. The other night, he started doing these "acrobatic" moves where he would stand with his feet spread, bend over and put his hands on the floor, and lift one foot up behind him as high as it would go. You could tell he really thought he was doing something cool and hard, and he looked ridiculous. Loved it!
One day, Max brought his tricycle in the living room, and showed me how he could stand on the back, and reach the handle bars. Then he started doing all these cool "tricks" on his bike. He really thinks he is hot stuff. :)
One morning Max got in trouble for something, and he got a spanking. As he started to cry, I left to go to the bathroom. As I was in there, Max opens the door, binky in his mouth, glaring at me, holds one finger up to wave it at me in the "no-no" motion and slams the door in my face. I started cracking up to myself and locked the door, which really pissed him off.
He likes to yell at me when he gets spanked and tell me "Mama, no hit me!" and wag his little finger at me.

House Drama

2011-07-26T15:30:00.000-05:00

This weekend we become homeless. I haven't written about our situation, except for my brief meltdown post. We have been looking at houses and rental ads for nearly 2 months now. Our lease is up on Sunday, and I never dreamed that it would get here and we didn't have a house. But we don't.

Saturday, we looked at a house, and decided to rent it, but the next day we felt like we had made the wrong decision. We got backed into a corner by time and made a hasty decision. Fortunately we hadn't signed a lease yet, and the landlord was understanding, but we lost half our deposit. I don't think that's fair because it was literally a day and a half, but I do feel bad that we backed out on the guy, so I'm not going to fight about it.

Our current plan is to pack up everything into a storage unit (including moving everything we already have in a unit into a bigger unit) and staying with my Grandma. I'm not excited about this, because I hate intruding on someone else's space, and we are only bringing the bare minimum, so essentially living out of our suitcases for a few weeks. It's never easy to try to fit your entire life into one or two bedrooms of someone else's house and stay out of their way.

I never, ever dreamed that we would have this much trouble finding a place to live. Everything is either too expensive or a dump. I don't think our budget is that unreasonable, but we have literally driven down nearly every street in town looking for "For Rent" signs. I check the newspaper and Craig's List more than once a day looking for new additions to the listings. We have called number after number, looked at so many houses, and there is NOTHING for us. I think part of the problem is that we have a lot of displaced Joplin residents.

I'm pretty much on edge at all times, because I can't even entertain the idea of not having a place before the baby gets here. I have 6 weeks(ish).

Please, if you are the praying type, send up a little one for us.

33 Weeks - Pineapple

2011-07-23T16:27:00.000-05:00

33 weeks yesterday. Which means I have 7 weeks left of being pregnant. For some reason that sounds a lot less than 8 weeks, and next week is 6 weeks, which really blows my mind. I'm not ready!

"This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. She's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and her skeleton is hardening. The bones in her skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for her to fit through the birth canal. These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as her brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood."

Lots of hip/pelvic pain this week, and lots of trying to push little girl out of my ribs. Feeling something hit your bone from the inside, is seriously the craziest, strangest feeling. I still love every movement she makes, though. I am loving this stage, even though I'm tired, hot, cranky, emotional and sore. I love when I rub a spot on my belly and she moves toward that spot.

We're not ready for the princess, but I can't wait to meet her.

No Cute Pictures or Anecdotes - feel free to skip this one.

2011-07-21T11:28:00.002-05:00

Lately, life has been… challenging. Maybe it’s the hormones that are making me perceive events and situations a little differently than I normally would, but the last few months have been hard on me. I feel like we are getting thrown into one “crisis” after another and frankly, I’m just sick of it. Tired. I’m sick of the stress, the worry, and the crying. I’m sick of the frustration and helplessness. I’m really sick of having to depend on our families to save us, as if they aren’t going through enough on their own ends.

Our latest struggle is finding somewhere to live, that we can afford, that is safe to have our kids at. And it’s proving to be nearly, freaking impossible. We have about 10 days left, with no prospects. All I wanted was a 3 bedroom house, and hoped for a fenced in yard for Max to play it. Now we’re trying to settle for a 2 bedroom with no other requirements except our price range, and there’s not even that. I feel like such a failure as a mother.
Yes, I’m having quite the pity party for myself, and as I type this, of course I’m crying again, because that’s what I do best. I’ve talked with work and I’m waiting to hear back, but if I can’t make any more money here, then I’m left with no choice but to find another job. Which is just about the last thing I want to do, especially considering that there are no jobs, so I should be glad I have one at all. But what do people do?? How do they get by when their paycheck is a joke? I make too much for any kind of assistance, so here I am, stuck in the middle with nowhere to go. Literally.
I know it will work out. It has to. And I have faith that God knows what he’s doing, even if I can’t understand it. But I’m just really ready for things to start looking up.

Craving

2011-07-17T18:14:00.000-05:00

I am obsessed with crab rangoons and ice cream sandwiches. I can't get enough.

32 Weeks - Jicama

2011-07-16T13:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday marked Little Miss hitting 32 weeks.

"By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb."

Miss Caroline on the left and Max on the right

I am 32 weeks (out of 40) pregnant, and I feel like it. This week, I guess my hips have been spreading, because I have a constant soreness in my hips/pelvis. When I get up to walk, I feel like a little old lady. I also have a hard time catching my breath sometimes, but I guess that's to be expectedwhen all your organs get shoved up into your chest.

I had another checkup yesterday. I had the longest wait in my exam room, but it was actually kind of nice because I got to read my book in peace and quiet. Just wish I had a coffee, and it would have been perfect. Unfortunately, I gained FOUR pounds (total is up to 7 pounds). My blood pressure was a little high, and the nurse checked it 3 times, but it went back down to a better number. Baby was measuring good, and head down, which I assumed. It's strange because I can actually tell what some body parts are when they are moving around, and to be honest, it's kind of freaky.

Miscommunication

2011-07-13T19:14:00.000-05:00

Max was drawing in his notebook with a pencil, and he asked me what was on the end. I told him it was an "eraser" and the next thing I knew he was driving his pencil around the page on it's side, and "vroom-vrooming." It took me a minute, but I realized he thought I said it was a racer. :)

Maxalicous

2011-07-10T21:03:00.000-05:00

Just a few Max stories...

We are in the middle of "potty training" and I am using the term very, very loosely. We are letting Max stay comfortable with the process, and not pushing the issue at all. Basically, when we remember, we'll ask him if he wants to go. If he's naked, he doesn't really have any accidents. He peed on his potty three times tonight, because we left him naked all evening. I guess that's our current strategy. We might try to put him in his underwear tomorrow. I don't want to embarrass him, but I have to write these down, because otherwise I'll forget and it would be a tragedy. Like all boys, he's kind of obsessed with his private parts. The two FUNNIEST things I've seen (without going into too much awkward detail) include making "it" rawr and telling me about his "monster pee-pee" and also "Wow! Look mommy, it's big!"
Tonight, Max had disappeared for awhile, which is never really a good sign, but lately he has been spending more time playing with his car rug in his bedroom, so I wasn't concerned. Until he came in to show us lotion on his legs, and demonstrated rubbing it in. The bottle of lotion in the bathroom is out, so I was curious where he found some, until I realized he had found a small bottle of travel shampoo that he had opened and rubbed all over his legs. I also noticed water on the floor, and asked Max if he peed on the floor. He said yes, but after some more investigating, I realized (and he confirmed) that he had found his travel toothbrush, dipped it in the toilet, and brushed his teeth. Ahhh.... independence...
Max is hilarious. He will randomly spread his legs, bend his knees, and put his hands on his hips and just freeze like that for a few seconds, before pulling some other spazzy move. It's so random and hilarious. He literally makes me laugh out loud every single day - even when I only see him for a few hours. He's just so silly and crazy and B-O-Y.
Max loves playing with his dishes, but we really need to get the kid some pretend food. He made dinner tonight, and brought us bowls. Mine consisted of two hotwheels and a lego brick. Walter's included a keychain, Mr. Potato head nose, and a couple random pieces of toys. Max had a cannabalistic bowl of Mr. Potato head parts - two noses, an ear, and an arm. He later brought me a cup of jacks coffee. (Pictures to come.)
A few nights ago, Max was walking around and playing with Gary (the snail from Spongebob). He kept telling Gary to "come on" and would talk to him. But my favorite part was at dinner, when he was sharing his dinner with Gary. I looked over and he had placed a green bean in front of his 2nd table chair. I LOVE his imaginative play. Other favorite games include superman or hero and karate.

I wish I could remember more, but wouldn't you know that the minute you sit down to write all the things swirling around in your head, they all fly right out.

4th of July Weekend

2011-07-10T19:31:00.000-05:00

I have spent the 4th of July in Hepler every year since we moved there when I was about 8. Last year, Max spent the holiday in Oklahoma, so Mommy and Daddy could enjoy the festivities without worrying about him. There is so much going on, and not a lot of help, which can be exhausting. But, I missed him too much, and spent most of the time thinking how much Max would be enjoying everything, so this year, we brought him along.

The weather was super, SUPER hot, but Max has a Papa that spoils him rotten, so we filled up the new pool and spent a good amount of the weekend "poolside." Max came out, ready to swim, but the patio was H-O-T on his little feet.

Max took several swim breaks, and even took a last-minute bath in the pool! It truely was a blessing during the hot weather, and not only helped keep Max cooled down, but entertained as well. Great idea, Papa!!

On the 3rd, after some debating, we decided to go ahead and sign Max up for his first year of "Mutton Bustin'" because he wanted to ride a sheep. Of COURSE this crazy storm came out of nowhere just before the rodeo started. We got caught in the rain for awhile, and even got trapped under a trailer as this crazy thunderstorm passed through, but the rain stopped just in time to ride the sheep.

Daddy took Max down for his ride, and I sat at the other end of the arena, nervous as I could be. Max was the 5th rider, and his ride was quick! The sheep took off and Max somersaulted backwards into the mud. Apparently, Max wouldn't hug the sheep around the neck to hold on, so he was "thrown" off as soon as the sheep moved. Max (and Walter) fell right into the mud. As I walked to meet them afterwards, as soon as Max saw me, his lip started quivering and he started to cry. He wasn't hurt, he was just upset because his hand was covered in mud.

Daddy and Walter went to clean up, and the rest of the rodeo was spent hiding under our umbrellas through the random rain. It actually got cold, which caught me off guard, for sure. We ended up heading back to the house a little early and listening to the rest of the rodeo from the back porch. Max played in the rain, until he asked to go to bed - another first!

The morning of the 4th, Max and Brazos were ready to celebrate America's birthday!

Noon was the parade - Max had fun collecting too much candy, and it's always nice to see familiar, friendly faces. I love traditions - how nothing really changes, but nothing is ever the same either...

Just before the parade, Max fell on the culvert over the ditch, and scraped up his knee pretty bad. It took FOUR bandaids and LOTS of hugs and cuddles to make it feel better. Normally, after the parade, there are lots of kids games and activities, and the hillbilly games to watch, but my pregnant behind wasn't feeling the heat at all, so we walked over to grab a quick lunch, and headed back to the house to eat and relax. After naps, Max and Daddy walked over so Max could ride the train and they watched a little bit of the festivities.

We decided not to ride sheep again (the night before, when we asked if Max wanted to try again the next night, he said yes, but "little sheep!" He wanted a little sheep to ride, not the "big" ones he had done the night before.) He did have fun standing at the gate and watching the sheep run to our end.

Max spent the entire evening running around and playing with my good friend, Lanessa's kids - they were all hyped up on sugar and WILD, so it was frustrating, but he had a good time.

To end the night, we watched Uncle Dustin's fabulous firework show. Max loved every bit of it and ooh'd and aah'd with the best of them.

We had a really great long weekend, that ended just as quick as it snuck up on us. I'm looking forward to next year celebrating our first 4th as a family of FOUR.